prosperin.blogspot.com

Noona - รักไม่ต้องการเวลา (Rak Mai Dtong Gaan Way-Laa)

2011-05-30T17:50:00.001+08:00

ฉันคิดว่ารักมันคือความผูกพัน
Chun kit wah ruk mun keu kwahm pook pun
I thought love was a relationship
คิดว่ารักแท้ต้องเดินผ่านวันและเวลา
Kit wah ruk tae dtong dern pahn wun lae welah
I thought true love must pass time
ยิ่งเนิ่นนาน นานไปเท่าไร ความรักยิ่งมีค่า
Ying nern nahn nahn pbai tao rai kwahm ruk ying mee kah
The longer the time period, however long, love gets more valuable
ที่ฉันรู้ที่เคยฝัน รักที่ฉันเคยเข้าใจ
Tee chun roo tee koey fun ruk tee chun koey kao jai
That I once knew as a dream, love that I once understood

ไม่คิดไม่ฝันเมื่อเธอผ่านเข้ามา
Mai kit mai fun meua tur pahn kao mah
I didn’t think, didn’t dream when you showed up
เหมือนว่าสายตาฉันเองมองไม่เห็นใครๆ
Meuan wah sai dtah chun eng mong mai hen krai krai
Like my eyes couldn’t see anyone else
หยุดที่เธอแค่เพียงสบตา และวินาทีนั้น
Yoot tee tur kae piang sop dtah lae winahtee nun
I stopped when you caught my eye, and that second
โลกทั้งโลกหยุดเคลื่อนไหว ท้องฟ้ากลับสดใส
Lohk tung lohk yoot kleuan wai nong fah glup sot sai
The whole world stopped moving, the sky brightened again

*ลมหายใจ เหมือนหยุดไปในห้วงนาทีนี้
Lom hai jai meuan yoot pbai nai huang nahtee nee
It’s like my breath stopped in that minute
เช่นหัวใจ ลอยหลุดไปทันทีที่สบตา
Chen hua jai loy loot pbai tun tee tee sop dtah
Like my heart floated away as soon as you looked at me
เธอหยุดยั้งวันเวลา แค่เราได้พบกันในวันนี้
Tur yoot yung wun welah kae rao dai pob gun nai wun nee
You stopped the time, just us meeting today
แค่พบเจอกับเธอ..
Kae pop jur gup tur
Just running into you…

ฉันเพิ่งเข้าใจว่ารักเป็นอย่างนี้
Chun perng kao jai wah ruk pben yahng nee
I just understood that love is like this
ฉันเพิ่งเข้าใจเมื่อได้มาเจอด้วยตัวเอง
Chun perng kao jai meua dai mah jur duay dtua eng
I just understood when I got to meet you
เสี้ยวนาทีก็มีความหมาย เปลี่ยนโลกได้ทั้งใบ
Siao natee gor mee kwahm mai pblian lohk dai tung bai
A fraction of a minute that meant so much, that changed the whole world
ฉันเพิ่งรู้ในวันนี้ รักไม่ต้องการเวลา
Chun perng roo nai wun nee ruk mai dtong gahn welah
I just realized today that love doesn’t need time

ลมหายใจ เหมือนหยุดไปในห้วงนาทีนี้
Lom hai jai meuan yoot pbai nai huang natee nee
It’s like my breath stopped in that minute
เช่นหัวใจ ลอยหลุดไปทันทีที่สบตา
Chen huajai loy loot pbai tun tee tee sop dtah
Like my heart floated away as soon as you looked at me
เธอหยุดยั้งวันเวลา แค่เราได้พบกันในวันนี้
Tur yoot yung wun welah kae rao dai pop gun nai wun nee
You stopped the time, just us meeting today
แค่พบเจอกับเธอ ก็รักเธอ.. ฉันรักเธอ..
Kae pob jur gup tur gor ruk tur…chun ruk tur…
Just running into you, I love you… I love you…

(*)

เหมือนหัวใจ เหมือนหยุดไปในห้วงเวลานี้
Meuan hua jai meuan yoot pbai nai huang welah nee
It’s like my heart stopped in this moment
เมื่อพบเธอ ความรักที่เคยเข้าใจก็เปลี่ยนไป
Meua pob tur kwahm ruk tee koey kao jai gor pblian pbai
When I met you, love as I understood it changed
ไม่ต้องใช้วันเวลา แค่เราได้พบกันในวันนี้
Mai dtong chai wun welah kae rao dai pob gun nai wun nee
There’s no need to use time, just us meeting together today
แค่พบเจอกับเธอ ก็รักเธอ… ฉันรักเธอ..
Kae pop jur gup tur gor ruk tur… chun ruk tur…
Just running into you, I love you… I love you…

*
the more i hear it,
the more i love this song

一半

2011-05-16T17:36:00.000+08:00

丁当 – 一半
词:管启源曲:宇珩

喝酒的伴一起看电影的伴
早午晚餐的那个伴
朋友不能留得太晚
明天要上班
唱K的伴一起去旅行的伴
听懂我的笑话的伴
我的生活只差那个人就美满

快乐剩一人分享快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤
心怎么都不够暖
这张被单这张睡床
再舒服都觉得太宽
没人分享幸福就只剩一半
就算把日子都填满
节日却提醒我孤单

没有想法有想法又能怎样
只能写部落格整晚
几个留言安慰不了心里的遗憾
没有负担原来也是种负担
自由多得让人心慌
你羡慕我那要不要跟我交换

快乐剩一人分享快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤
心怎么都不够暖
这张被单这张睡床
再舒服都觉得太宽
没人分享幸福就只剩一半
努力把日子填满
别来提醒我多孤单

快乐剩一人分享快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤
心怎么都不够暖
这张被单这张睡床
再舒服都觉得太宽

没人分享幸福就只剩一半
就算把日子都填满
没人知道我多孤单

*

亲爱的另一半
你好吗? 我好孤独喔。。。

你为什么还没出现呢?
记得要快点出现喔。。。

hurt

2011-04-29T03:11:00.002+08:00

Until today,

You still don't know how much I hurt.

Why?

2011-04-04T00:06:00.001+08:00

I guess I'm always banking on the hope that he still feels the same way, that my constant msging and calls are not irritating him instead, that he still thinks of me fondly throughout the day.

Suddenly it feels that I am a stranger, someone that is irritating him, like a fly that keeps buzzing at your ear but you can't see it to swipe it away. Whenever I finally get him on the line, I can't help but be sad and depressed, not at all the happy-go-lucky girl that used to be me. But how to remain happy when all I want is to have him by my side??

It's eerily familiar how he says he needs time to think and all without actually giving a reason. That's how I used to when I wanted to put someone down gently. Maybe he just doesn't want me around anymore, and hopes that this space or time apart will make me slowly walk away whilst not wishing ill upon him. IT'S NOT WORKING BABY.

I feel lost, i feel desperate, i feel upset and unhappy. Maybe he's no longer in love with me anymore, after all my moods and sarcasm and mad logic; maybe it's really me. Maybe all he wants is to get back to his other life and back to his bachelorhood. Maybe I'm like a SUPER hinderance in his quest for happiness[not exactly the perfect girlfriend recently] Maybe there's something wrong with me, too needy, too loud, too friendly, too much. maybe I don't make him happy anymore. Maybe we stopped being happy together. Maybe he stopped being happy with me.

I just want this pain to go away.

Square One

2011-04-03T19:44:00.000+08:00

It is like deja vu that I find myself once again at this point.

No matter how much i pray, wish, swear, curse, beg, cry, etc....nothing's gonna change it.

I just wish for the strength to see this through, without giving up before the end.

Maybe I'm the problem.

Dream A Little Dream Of Me

2011-02-23T15:01:00.001+08:00

Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper I love you
Birds singin' in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me

Say "nighty night" and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me.
While I'm alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on..dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger til dawn..dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams til sun beams find you
Sweet dreams that leave our worries behind you.
But in your dreams, whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger til dawn dear
Just saying this..

Sweet dreams til sun beams find you
Sweet dreams that leave our worries behind you
But in your dreams. whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

The Road Not Taken

2010-09-28T17:52:00.001+08:00

The Road Not Taken - Robert Frost[1874–1963]

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

**

Which path would you choose?

Sheena Easton - Almost Over You

2010-09-25T14:05:00.000+08:00

I saw an old friend of ours today

She asked about you, i didn't quite know what to say
heard you've been making the rounds 'round here
while I've been trying to make tears disapear

Chorus:
Now Im almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
so when you come back around
after painting the town
you'll see im almost over you...

you're such a sly one with a cold cold heart
maybe leavin came easy, but it tore me apart
time heals all wounds they say and I should know
coz it seems like forever,
but im letting you go

(chorus)
I can forgive you and soon I'll forget all my shattered dreams
although you left me with nothing to show
Full of misery
( chorus )

when you come back around, after painting the town,
you'll see im almost over you...

Lonely without you

2010-09-24T17:08:00.000+08:00

The past few days have been easier to pass than the previous few times. Occupying myself with activities, work, friends, alcohol.....but he still flits through my mind more times than I can imagine. Stolen glances at my mobile, willing it to ring or chime, with the name of that much-missed caller flashing.

But it stays silent.

Every night as I lay down to sleep, tears involuntarily form in my eyes. The pain...unbearable. I inevitably think of negative thoughts. do you miss me? are you thinking of me like i'm thinking of you?

As much as i try to make my days chockful of activities, I wonder how could he just drop me and get on with life like nothings wrong, when everything I do, I wish he was with me to share the moment.

I hold myself back, remembering my promise to keep away, to give space...just wishing that he would be the one to make the first move instead; telling me he misses me, that he has to see me...but its not happening. I grew weak and made a call; to hear his voice, to relive the moments...but was greeted with the cheerful voice of the automated message informing me that the reciver can't be reached.....over n over i call, feverishly trying to get an answer...just to face the same thing....it is unusual.

maybe that is my answer...i just wish he would have told me straight in the face like he promised.

Baby....have you forgotten me already?

Things that make me happy.

2010-09-10T18:27:00.001+08:00

Spongebob in San Francisco

colourful domes in Moscow

trips to the zoo

golf-playing Santa Claus

peacock hiding in the bushes

Christmas scenes on television

pink cupcakes

ice-cold beers

mini merry-go-rounds

and Elvis Presley in a frame.

am i that stupid?

2010-09-01T08:19:00.000+08:00

Just came back from a depressing flight from Amsterdam.

my work was sub-standard, and i got zapped, lectured, criticised, blamed and scolded throughout the trip there and back.

Instead of working better, my work got worse n worse.

As i think back, i feel so demoralised as I think I can't even do the simplest of things even after flying so almost two years. I don't foresee myself getting better in any way. I look at my fellow colleagues, and wonder how they do it; how they get so good in their work, and not bang stuff, and drop stuff, and get in other people's way like I do; how come they are not clumsy[like me], don't get bullied[like me]; how come they ensure that people don't take advantage of them when I keep doing stuff for people, hoping that it makes them happy so that they can like me. I try so hard to be nice but I keep getting stepped on instead. I work so hard, but it's never enough. I will never be good at my job.

I think I was born a doormat.

I cannot be mean to people n ask them to do stuff for me; I can't bring myself to fight back cos it seems so hostile.

Why can't we all just get along?
Why do they have to be so mean to me?

Why can't people just like me?

I don't feel like flying anymore.

Heartbreak

2010-08-25T16:38:00.000+08:00

On, off, on....then now off again.

Like pieces of a puzzle we were, with missing pieces that we found in one another.

It felt so right, yet is so wrong.

I wish to continue on so much, to forever hear ur laughter and feel the love and happiness that blooms whenever we are together.

Yet...I cannot escape the extra strokes that distract us from the main picture.

The weight of the baggage that has yet to be unloaded, and, worse is that you are unsure of whether to unload it or not. That is what breaks my heart.

I am the luckiest girl in the world to be able to find the perfect one.

One that thinks i am perfect as well.

If only we didn't have to be in this situation.

If only we had met earlier.

If only we didn't have our consciences to answer to.

If only....it was easier.

I miss you so fucking much, baby.

Please don't take too long.

Don't forget about me.

Do you know what went wrong?

2010-06-16T17:25:00.001+08:00

" A woman possesses a rare and unusual sexual confidence she's grown accustomed to using. When she's attracted to a man, she immediately seizes on how 'right' it feels, how she should follow her instincts. That denying a mutual attraction goes against nature.

They jointly decide that there's no point wasting time, since they're clearly meant to be together. They become intimate, they spend almost every night together. She lets her friendships slide, cancels family plans because she'd rather be with him. After several months, they are essentially living together.

And then, once they've settled into a domestic union,the man starts doubting his feelings. The magic of the first months has faded. He chafes at her expectations; he starts to pull back. In response, she goes into full-pursuit mode by catering to him, trying to make him happy. He finds the extra attention suffocating.

In her desperation, she brings up the subject of marriage. He feels a combination of pressure and guilt.

Eventually, he ends the relationship, telling her, "You're the greatest woman I've ever known.""

extract from The Girlfriend Curse by Valerie Frankel

There is no happily ever after.

2010-05-29T18:44:00.001+08:00

You know when you are broken hearted, everything else around you seems dreary too. Even the trees dun seem so green, the sky seems more grey than blue. Birds chirp sad melodies and sad songs with significant lyrics play out of the radio.

The tea that used to be so sweet seems bitter, the food you once enjoyed so much seems bland. Time seems to come to a standstill, while everyone else's go on as normal.

You look in the mirror and all you see is a broken soul, greyish skin, with tears threatening to fall out of the sad sad eyes. All you want to is hide alone, staring into space, and just cry and cry and cry.

Question after question flits through your mind. What went wrong? Was I not worth it? Why didn't you love me? Questions you have no answer to, or with answers that you are unwilling to accept. But you said you loved me. I can give you happiness. I will do anything for you.

The hurt. The pain. Like a knife cutting up your insides; the squeezing of the heart till it aches and you shout for it to stop. The torture as you imagine him with someone else, hugging, kissing, loving. The sadness that makes your body go numb and mind go blank. An impenetratable wall of hurt you envelope yourself, so no one can enter your heart anymore.

Friends try to console you, some just listening, some trying to distract you, some scolding you and telling you it was bound to happen; left and right, people telling you they understand, not to take it too hard, to move on, repeating their own experiences, and then plying you with alcohol. It's one of those times when everyone helps you get drunk.

You start to make fun of your own situation, smiling and laughing to pacify the worried friends as an appreciation for their efforts to cheer you up. But your own laughter sounds hollow, and smile forced. It takes all your strength to just pretend to be happy, when all you wanna do is break down and sob loudly. But it messes up your makeup, plus there's so many other pple around; its embarrassing. You don't want the whole world to know you got dumped.

No matter how much you say you don't need a man, that you will not want him back even though he comes begging, deep deep down you know that you still love him with all your heart, that he was all you ever wanted, that a part of you will forever have the hope that he would one day come back willingly, after everything has settled. And you will always secretly keep that faith, that he will remember you and that he loves you, that he will return.

Even though there may be others, or even though it may be a long wait, the faith will still be there, because love still exists. Love so strong you can't breathe, love so unconditional and true. Even if he never comes back, you will wish him happiness and remember all the perfect, perfect moments that only you two will share.

**

It was so perfect.

Baby, I love you so much.

Why did you have to leave me?

If only you could...

2010-05-06T17:25:00.000+08:00

extract from http://www.sixpegs.com/2010/05/cinema-paradiso-2/

sleepless in ang mo kio

2010-04-15T01:28:00.000+08:00

1.13am and i'm still awake, tossing and turning in my bed as I have been for the past few weeks.

mind full of thoughts as I subconciously go through [yet again] the story of the book that I just [re]read. another cheap, trashy novel, chockful of hope and dreams. same old story; girl has a chain of unsuccessful relationships, girl moves away due to family commitments, girl meets guy, girl falls in love with guy, guy unknowingly falls in love with girl's charm/smile/witty sense of humour/upbeat outlook to life/strength in dealing with problems/ability to make him laugh, guy reveals he is engaged, couple break up, guy comes back when he realises that girl is the one he loves, girl forgives guy...and they live happily ever after.

funny how they never show the next chapter.

that got me thinking, these books and their plot, however predictable, all with different twists, still almost always end in the same way; happily ever after. Why do we, as consumers, pay to read the same stuff, to know the same ending?

i guess, in the struggle to get through life, all we want and wish for, is to find happiness. No one wants to die alone and lonely. Not me, at least.

I've spent my life in search for my own happiness. I've gone through a huge array of men, from all walks of life, all ages, all shapes and sizes. So far all i've gotten are heartbreaks, shedded tears, and a whole load of shit stories that I entertain my friends with. Maybe its time to see what I've been doing wrong, instead of blaming them for being wrong.[although some really, REALLY deserve it]

Or maybe i've been going out with all the Mr.Wrongs.

But then again, maybe I'm the one that has the problem.

Am I the cause of my own string of failed relationships?

Slightly darker

2010-04-01T17:46:00.001+08:00

Was looking forward to a nice beach holiday [and still am!] but forces of nature made it apparant that this was not in the stars for now.

contented with lying at the pool, reading my book and getting a tan. smiles all around.

we must be mad cos we went to the pool at like 12 noon. damn hot! well, at least managed to get the sun before the rain clouds took over its shift.

eat, pool, eat, sleep, eat....!

wish we had more time.

'Twas a great, lazy time. Just wonderful.

What's next?

The Bird is the Word

2010-03-21T21:55:00.000+08:00

I love Family Guy!!!

dramatizing the situation

2010-02-28T15:09:00.001+08:00

reminds me of how me and my baby's mind works!!!

i LOVE this comic.

go read it!

again

2010-02-27T04:02:00.001+08:00

it was the longest 10mins of my life.

it's not gonna happen, is it?

now i know.

Why Try To Change Me Now

2010-02-24T20:46:00.001+08:00

i love this song.

Fiona Apple - Why Try to Change Me Now

I'm sentimental
So i walk in the rain
I've got some habits
That i can't explain
Could start for the corner
Turn up in spain
Why try to change me now

I sit and daydream
I've got daydreams galore
Cigarette ashes
There they go on the floor
I go away weekends
And leave my keys in the door
But why try to change me now

Why can't i be more conventional
People talk
People stare
So i try
But that's not for me
Cuz i can't see
My kind of crazy world
Go passing me by

So let people wonder
Let 'em laugh
Let 'em frown
You know i'll love you
Till the moon's upside down
Don't you remember
I was always your clown
Why try to change me now

Don't you remember
I was always your clown
Why try to change me
Why try to change me now

sick again...

2010-02-20T16:10:00.002+08:00

melissa is down with.....hmmm....until now i'm not sure what i'm down with.

it all started with the vomitting fest after that fateful drinking session at fly. after that came the numbness, the internal pain, plus the wobbly legs and headaches.

i have been staying home the past three days already, which only happens when i am like really really sick; well except for that two times [sneaky sneaky].

feel fragile and need lots of care now!

Postsecret

2010-02-17T15:29:00.002+08:00

Lovely lovely~

L.O.V.E

2010-02-17T13:48:00.003+08:00

When you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with
somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

Falling In Love Again

2010-02-17T13:47:00.001+08:00

Do you remember the time when you fell in love?

How Can I Tell Her?

2010-02-16T22:41:00.001+08:00

How Can I Tell Her - Lobo

She knows when I am lonesome
She cries when i am sad
She's up in the good times
She's down in the bad
Whenever I am discouraged
She knows what to do
But girl...
She doesn't know about you

I can tell her my troubles
She makes them all seem right
I can make up excuses
Not to hold her at night
We can talk of tomorrow
I'll tell her things that i wanna do
But girl...
How can I tell her about you

How can I tell her about you
Girl, please tell me what to do
Everythings seems right whenever I'm with you
So girl, won't you tell, how to tell her about you

How can I tell her I don't miss her
Whenever I am away
How can I say it's you I think of
Every single night and day
But when is it easy
Telling someone we're through
Oh girl, help me tell her about you

How can I tell her about you
Girl, please tell me what to do
Everything seems right whenever I'm with
So girl, won't you tell me, how to tell her about you

greedy greedy...

2010-02-05T16:08:00.002+08:00

i really really want a Fujifilm Instax Mini!

Its a mini polaroid camera that takes credit card sized erm...mini polaroids!

always wanted to get one but never managed to have the chance to buy it.

There's two in the market now; one the Mini 7s, and the other the Mini 25[newer one].

thinking which one to get, although the Mini 25 is the newer version but the older one uses AA batteries, which is more convenient! hmmm...

not that i know where I can get them now, cos they seem to be out of stock everywhere I go~

Yenlin has one, and we were already using it during our poly days to take crazy pictures of ourselves. I still have the copies of the pics in my drawer!

I really love the white color! But i think it sorta costs more.

hmm...i don't know how, but i sort of have the impression that there was one polaroid camera that is digital, allowing you to choose the pictures you want to print, and store the rest in a memory card. But til date, I have not been able to find it online!

sorry, Gene baby, for making you ask the shopkeepers for a non-existant product! =P

Introducing the Sigma 50mm 1.4!

I want this too......just because. Tee hee!

Well, i'm gonna go a-searchin' for my new toys!

Wish me luck!

My new Baby

2010-01-28T14:10:00.003+08:00

forgot to tell you i got a new camera!

love it love it!!

...slowly but sure

2010-01-28T13:50:00.004+08:00

I would like to be able to have all the time in the world to do nothing with you.

Timeout!

2010-01-25T17:42:00.000+08:00

I need a holiday!!!!!!!

three weddings this year

2010-01-22T05:36:00.002+08:00

i wanna get married too..

alone

2009-12-27T23:33:00.003+08:00

i hate being alone overseas in the hotel room.

i seem to be going out more often recently. although im tired and all.

i'm not myself anymore. i am not the happy person i used to be, full of nonsense and the entertainer in a group. i now exclude myself and is content with just sitting in a corner and listening; hoping someone would show me some attention. i'm tired of having to get attention on my own. sometimes i wonder if my presence plays a part or not.

i cling desperately to my looks, my voice, playing pool, drinking, being the fun person i used to be; because i feel that no one actually would want to know me or be my friend if they dun have a reason to. without all these, who would see me for what i am? who would like me for me?

sometimes, being alone, i think of what had been and could have been. and i regret sometimes doing what i do. sometimes i wish that I could have had those feelings again, those moments replayed. with the same person. why couldn't i have held on to what was working, instead of leaving cause of my own fears and disillusions?

i'm scared, i'm wounded. and i'm not willing to heal myself but keep subjecting myself to hurt, and run away when an old wound threatens to hurt, even before it starts hurting.

when will i cross my own hurdle?

hmm

2009-12-14T16:01:00.003+08:00

have been thinking of getting a blog for jus my work. i mean i could put my more serious writing there so i can share on a more professional level.

any ideas for blog names?

i managed to register melissacheng.blogspot.com but was thinking of using it to replace this.

suggestions?

Happy Birthday To Me!

2009-12-09T00:01:00.000+08:00

I'm 27!!

Another year older, another year of happiness and sorrows.

Happy Birthday to me.

Endorphine - Nam Dtem Kaew - น้ำเต็มแก้ว

2009-12-08T14:59:00.003+08:00

I have been going to Thai discos just to try to get the title for this song.
Finally I managed to find it! I love it!

Have to find their album cos the rest of their songs are quite good too!!

Enjoy.

วันๆที่เป็นอยู่ เฝ้าทำเพื่อเธอทุกอย่าง
wan-wan tee bpen yoo fao tam peua ter took yaang
Every day I did everything for you.

แต่ใจเธอไม่เคยลืมรักครั้งเก่าd
tae jai ter mai koie leum rak krang gao
But your heart never forget your past love.

เธอเป็นแก้วใบหนึ่ง ที่เต็มไปด้วยน้ำเปล่า
ter bpen gaew bai neung tee dtem bpai duay naam bplao
You are like a glass that is full of water,

ยิ่งเทเติมลงไปมีแต่ล้นออก
ying tay dterm long bpai mee dtae lon ok
which overflows when it is filled with water

คนเก่า รักเก่า เธอไม่เคยลบเลือน
kon gao rak gao ter mai koie lop leuan
Your past love is still in your heart.

คนใหม่ รักใหม่ เลยท้อ
kon mai rak mai loie tor
The one who (now) loves you is feeling disheartened.

จริงๆเข้าใจอยู่ กับความทรงจำครั้งเก่า
jing-jing kao jai yoo gap kwaam song jam krang gao
I understand that you hold on to the past memories.

แต่อย่าเอามันมาปิดกั้นหัวใจ
dtae yaa ao man maa bpit gan hua jai
But do not use it to seal the door to your heart.

เปลี่ยนเป็นแก้วเปล่า แก้วใหม่ เปิดใจทีนะเธอ
bplian bpen gaew bplao gaew mai bpert jai tee na ter
Change your heart into an empty glass, a new glass. Open your heart,

รับหน่อย รู้หน่อย ความรัก จากฉัน
rap noi roo noi kwaam rak jaak chan
accept and know my love for you.

ฉันยังต้องรออีกนานไหม ต้องรอเธออีกนานไหม
chan yang dtong ror eek naan mai dtong ror ter eek naan mai
How much longer must I wait? Must I wait for a long time?

ถึงจะได้เจอกับรักที่เธอเคยบอกฉัน
teung ja daai jer gap rak tee ter koie bok chan
Only then will I have your love.

เมื่อไหร่รักเก่าระเหย ฉันรอให้เธอได้ลืมเขาสักวัน
meua-rai rak gao ra-hoie chan ror hai ter daai leum kao sak wan
When will you forget your past love? I am waiting for you to forget her.

เพื่อการเริ่มใหม่ ครั้งใหม่ เพื่อเธอกับฉันและรักเรา
peua gaan rerm-mai krang mai peua ter gap chan lae rak rao
For a new beginning, a new era, for you and me, and our love.
(Interlude)

ทุ่มเทเท่าไหร่มันก็ล้นเท่านั้น
toom tay tao-rai man gor lon tao nan
However much I lavish my love on you, it flows away out of your heart.

ไม่อาจสัมผัสเข้าถึงสักครั้ง
mai aat sam-pat kao teung sak krang
My love is unable to enter your heart.

ฉันยังต้องรออีกนานไหม ต้องรอเธออีกนานไหม
chan yang dtong ror eek naan mai dtong ror ter eek naan mai
How much longer must I wait? Must I wait for a long time?

ถึงจะได้เจอกับรักที่เธอเคยบอกฉัน
teung ja daai jer gap rak tee ter koie bok chan
Only then will I have your love.

เมื่อไหร่รักเก่าระเหย ฉันรอให้เธอได้ลืมเขาสักวัน
meua-rai rak gao ra-hoie chan ror hai ter daai leum kao sak wan
When will you forget your past love? I am waiting for you to forget her.

เพื่อการเริ่มใหม่ ครั้งใหม่ บอกหน่อย
peua gaan rerm-mai krang mai bok noi
For a new beginning, a new era, please tell me.

ฉันควรรอต่อไปไหม ต้องรอเธออีกนานไหม
chan kuan ror dtor bpai mai dtong ror ter eek naan mai
Should I continue to wait for you? Must I wait for a long time?

ถึงจะได้เจอกับรักที่เธอเคยบอกฉัน
teung ja daai jer gap rak tee ter koie bok chan
Only then will I have your love.

เมื่อไหร่รักเก่าระเหย ฉันรอให้เธอได้ลืมเขาสักวัน
meua-rai rak gao ra-hoie chan ror hai ter daai leum kao sak wan
When will you forget your past love? I am waiting for you to forget her.

เพื่อการเริ่มใหม่ ครั้งใหม่ เพื่อเธอกับฉันและรักเรา
peua gaan rerm-mai krang mai peua ter gap chan lae rak rao
For a new beginning, a new era, for you and me, and our love.

hmm

2009-12-07T15:08:00.001+08:00

sorry for the lack of updates.

have been really busy with an empty mind so words don't seem to form.

busy facebooking though.

and have a whole load of pictures to edit and upload!

later.

Reflections

2009-10-28T21:59:00.002+08:00

Someday, someone is going to walk into your life and make you
realize why it never worked out with anyone else.

A cup of love

2009-10-08T02:53:00.005+08:00

there's nothing like a cup of fragrant, sweet tea to cure a depressed night.

Tears In Heaven

2009-10-05T00:31:00.002+08:00

Dear Mummy,

I am in Heaven now, sitting on god's lap. He loves me and cries with me; for my heart has been broken. I so wanted to be your little boy. I don't quite understand what has happened. I was so excited when I began realizing my existance.

I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.

Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me. Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.

That same day, the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in. I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me.

The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming, "Mummy, Mummy, help me please; Mummy, help me." Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore. Then the monster started ripping my arms off. It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop.

I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off. Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying. I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me. I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy. Now I couldn't all my dreams were shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all.

I wanted more than anything to be your son. No use now, for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand. And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead. I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone.

The angel took me to god and set me on His lap. He said He loved me, and He was my Father now. Then I was happy. I asked Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion. I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels." I don't know what abortion is; I guess that's the name of the monster. I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little boy.

I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful. It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you. I didn't want to die. Also, Mummy, please watch out for that abortion monster.

Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did. Please be careful.

Love,
Your Baby Boy

" I hand them over to you, My Lord, to keep them warm and safe,
to love them like I couldn't, until the day that we reunite. "
- Anonymous

The Right One

2009-10-01T12:37:00.005+08:00

Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you,

for exactly what you are – good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you.

the right person’s still going to think the sunshine shines out of your ass.

that’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.

- juno (2007)

Nostalgic Night

2009-09-22T03:00:00.004+08:00

Do you ever read your old diaries?

Flipping the pages as you read and re-read pages of your scribbled handwriting, each form and structure unique as they depict the emotions that pour on the pages of the well-worn notebook.

As you run your fingers and embrace the familiar feel of the letters pressed into the smooth paper, you re-visit times of joy and sorrow. You remember the incidents that created the entry and touch the dried tears that has smudged the ink.

the messy lines, the neat words, the long rants, the short sentances; then you remember how the pen and paper accompanied you at the times when you were most down, when you were alone in your room, crying your heart out; softly, lest you were overheard; at the point when you were about to give up on everything else, because you felt like dying, because there was no way to solve it; incidents after incidents that seems so similar and different at the same time; love lost and found; words of despair and pain.

then you lose yourself in the memories of surprise gifts and small gestures of love; the outings, the softly spoken words, the nights of confessions, the stolen hugs and kisses and meetings; the small bursts of love and passion from strangers that have left footprints; the arrivals and departures; new ventures and gain.

the comfort of writing.

*

i have been in a state of depression again.

ever since yenlin; ever since the horrible flight.
or what was it?

it went away for a while.

tonight, it visits again.

i feel lonely, and empty.
wondering what am i doing, what should I do.
i must be strong, but I am weakened.

i don't know how long more I can stay strong.
But i have to; my friends need me. I have to.

I haven't been able to cry for a long while.
Even if I do, it stops immediately.

I long for a good looong cry right now.
Maybe it might make me feel better?

or maybe I have no more tears left.

I wish I knew what was wrong.

THANKS AND GRATITUDE

2009-09-13T05:20:00.001+08:00

Just received this in an email:

Every day should be a good day and you should live it like it's
your last. Some people live a life of anger, frustration, pain,
jealousy, and/or dishonesty, but all of these things will come to pass when
your time here is over. Just take a moment to think, we will not be on
this earth forever. One day, we will not have to worry about going to work
or how we will make our car payment.

We will not have to worry where our next meal will come from, or how
we can buy that beautiful house. At anytime, God could take us off of
this earth, so you should appreciate today and not worry about tomorrow,
for nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. When you wake up each
morning, thank the Lord for waking you up.

When you lie down to sleep at night, thank the Lord for another day.
If you have a job, thank the Lord for your place of employment. Ask that
He May bless you in everything that you do. Ask Him to give you
the knowledge and the wisdom to do your job. If you don't have a job,
thank Him anyway. Ask him to direct you to the job that is right for you.

When you are eating breakfast, lunch or dinner, say a prayer. Thank
the Lord for providing food and nourishment to your body. If you
are healthy, thank the Lord for the health and strength in your body. If
you aren't, thank Him anyway for life, and ask Him to heal your body. So
the next time that you get mad, think twice.

The next time you complain about something at your job, think twice.
The next time you say you wish you had steak instead of chicken,
think twice. Be thankful for what you have, and the life that God has
given you. Pray and ask the Lord for guidance. Be sincere, as God
knows whether or not we mean it from the heart. Help those in need as a
gift from your heart, and not so you can get a pat on the back.

Put forth the extra effort in everything that you do. Go after what
you want in life, and do whatever it takes to achieve your goals. No
matter how perfect you think you are, there is always room for improvement,
and an opportunity for you to do better. If you are depressed, don't
cry just hold your head up and the Lord will help you through.

Pray and ask the Lord to deliver you from your state of depression. Whatever it is that you are depressed about, God will take that pain from your heart. It may not be at that moment, or that next hour, or maybe not even the next day, but He WILL do it if you just believe in Him.

God may not show up when YOU want Him to, but He's ALWAYS right in
time. God will not give us more than we can bear. Sometimes He will present
us with issues that will test our faith, but you have to be strong enough to believe that God will do exactly what He says. The message for today is to praise the Lord, have faith in the Lord, give thanks to the Lord, and live every day like it is your last.

Theoretically speaking, if the Lord never does anything else for
us, other than wake us up each day, put food in our mouths and clothes
on our backs, we should thank Him anyway.

I think that we are not thankful for what we have; instead, we always wish we had more, and envy others better than us, with thing that we crave.

We must realise and be grateful for the simple things in life, because without Him, we would have nothing.

Amen to that.

Doe, a deer, a female deer!

2009-09-09T18:18:00.002+08:00

I love the way it seems that they all spontaneously joined in the dance!

I wanna do that too!

To be a part of something so random and amazing and happy would be wonderful!!

must start planning!!!

From Seoul to San Francisco..

2009-08-31T20:02:00.006+08:00

Its 5am in San Francisco.
I think i'm seriously jet-lagged cos I seem to be waking up the oddest hours!

well, wasn't really looking forward to another long 4-sector flight but so far its still ok.

Touched down in Seoul on the 28th, and I finally got the chance to try out authentic Korean Bulgogi Beef! It was deeeeeelicious!!! mmmmm....it came raw with onions so you had to sort of bbq it yourself on the hotplate. There was a sort of dip around the corners of the hotplate, so all the gravy was there, and i happily placed all the onions there to sautee them so that they were nice and soft. I just love it, love it!!

After dinner, me and the steward, Siva, went over to another crew joint, Westrock, to have a drink at the bar. What I thought to be a small drink, turned to 4 jugs when my leading steward, Ronnie, walked through the door! We started talking and the crowd came in. A table of angmohs started singing karaoke [good voice, one of them] and in my intoxicated state, I dared a song too....i fucked it up horribly....so paiseh. Finally forced them to go back although they wanted another drink.

I have been drinking too much lately and the sight of alcohol makes my stomach feel weird.

After a super tiring flight to San Francisco, with horrible passengers who refused to sleep and keep asking for food and drinks even though meal service was just completed, I dragged myself to the Thai joint to meet some of the crew for lunch. Was kinda excited cos I haven't been there before so was hoping for a walk-around. We had big plans, to shop and visit the Golden Gate Bridge.

Anyway, after lunch, the girls said they were going shopping, while Siva looked at me and being the alcoholic that he is, asked me if i wanted to get some beers. I chose to go shopping instead......bad choice...

As i happily dragged my tired body to follow the girls, they suddenly all stopped and said to each other, " Ok we see how later!"......the were all seperating!!! I was left pathetically alone, without a clue as to where i was and where i could go. I ended up walking aimlessly with my baby slung ard my neck...trying to find shopping places...

I took a complete wrong turning and found myself in the dangerous part of town, where the African-Americans dominated. I just kept walking and walking, taking in the sights and happenings ard me.

My gut feeling told me that it was the wrong place to be. But i kept walking. I instinctively realised that there were "Safe" sides of the road to be on. If you kept on the opp side, or the safe side, you were ok. I chanced upon two cops questioning an old black couple on the streets cos they were selling cigerettes, asking them if they checked the IDs of the youngsters that bought from them. It was kinda scary when the groups of black youngsters were congregating outside the liquor store or convenience store. It was until i went on the street where there was a Gun Store, then i decided to quickly get out of there.

after that i realised what a dangerous street it was to be on. Apparantly in Frisco, you could hear gunshots at night around our hotel. This is actually a very dangerous place to be in. I could hear police sirens at all times of the night; Wan said that the police are very busy people over here......thank God nothing happened to me.

The next morning, I woke up at 2am....lazing around in my room, the girls called for lunch. We went to the Cheesecake Factory at Macy's! Following them, I realised that I was walking along a completely different path the day before, and that was why I couldn't find any shopping places....all hidden here lor. We had a nice lunch, and went shopping! I spent almost US$150....didn't go sight seeing cos we were all so tired in the end.

so now its 5.30am in the morning and I'm awake already.

the girls already have plans to head down to Myeung Dong for shopping when we touch down in Seoul.

I want to eat the bulgogi again!!!!

i am seriously overspending on this trip....howhowhow????

turning and turning around

2009-08-15T14:21:00.002+08:00

i just came back from a Bangalore overnight turn this morning at 6am.
Reported at 6pm last evening.

i did a Jarkarta turn and the horrible Bangkok turn before this.

wah lau soooooo tiring lor...non stop and didnt rest much. my feet are swollen already.

Money very difficult to earn ah. =(

Robocop

2009-08-13T16:06:00.002+08:00

my grandfather is in the hospital.

he had been feeling unwell of late. giddy, headache, nausea...everything he ate he vomitted out.
quite alarming cos he's already in his 80s.

everytime i come back from flight recently he always says he still does not feel well. saw three doctors and still the same.

so a few days ago, he was admitted to hospital. The doctors said his heartbeat is irregular. When i say irregular i mean his heart actually stops beating for a while and starts again. That is what caused the giddyness cos there wasn't enough oxygen in his body.

I asked him if he was pregnant.

Charmaine said cos my grandma wasn't here anymore to quarrel with him and keep him on his nerves. Quarrelling makes the heart beat faster, so it should be able to regulate his blood pressure and makes for a healthy body. Har-dee-har-ha.

well, he just had an operation this morning. Installed a battery in his body, or pace-maker, to keep the heart beating properly.

Daddy says now he's Robocop. -_-

the jokes we make to ease the tension in these situations.

thinking out loud

2009-08-11T21:38:00.007+08:00

well....recently caught alex holding hands with his new gf; the day before still was msging me and saying he still care and all. What nonsense.

surprisingly i didn't feel upset or what....felt a bit sad and more disappointed though.

how can he keep acting like he is so pitiful when he is already in the midst of being with another girl? making me look and feel bad when i keep rejecting his "care" and concern". Like i'm so cruel.

well, after so many years, this is the first time i saw it right in front of my face.

but when i felt nothing, i knew that it was truely over. and i had finally, finally let go.

still, being human, i felt sucky for a while.

*

sometimes, when i'm all alone, i think back on what has happened and the things I have been through while attempting to fight the war of love. True, I have hurt, I have had my heart broken over and over, especally by the ones that i put in the most...but i still find courage to try again and again.

it has come to a point where i wish that I could find peace and stop searching for that perfect person. because, for all i know, he might not even exist. But I have been spoilt and have become jaded over the years, that i DO actually know what I want from my other half. Just that the ones that I'm with have a hard time fufilling what I want, cos they don't know what is it. Much as I proclaim that these factors are the ones I ask for, I do come close to admitting that maybe i really don't know what I want at all.

you see, we all have certain expectations of our partner. and sometimes our partner can't read our minds, and we make noise. That's where the arguement starts; more from frustration than anything else, cos both parties don't really know what they want. but if the partner can read minds, then he/she would be making it a profession instead. so how are we expected to understand the other point of view when our own clouds or judgement.

sometimes, its tiring to try and understand, or to be understanding.

i tell you, much as I hate being alone, I can't help but to wonder if all these relationships are the ones that make me lonely in the first place.

*

i love having someone to care about, who cares about me in the same way.

but i suddenly feel like i need to take a break...

......sometimes, i wouldn't mind going back to being single, just to connect with myself again.

still awake

2009-08-11T04:45:00.002+08:00

i'm sooooo tired.

slept for about 20 minutes and woke up at 2plus am. At least i think i slept.

tossed and turned till 4plus and i gave up trying.
was supposed to wake at 5.30am.

got training later...have to do CPR. I think its a cursed subject for me.
the last time i went for my CPR test i was suffering from a hangover, vomitting the whole night.

i had to do the freaking test 5 times before i finally passed.
my pressure was all wrong, and i think if the dummy was a real person, his ribs would have turned into powder from all my colorful variations of pumping on his chest.

i can actually start preparing for class now lor. slowly have my breakfast and tea...and reach there before anyone else. And i will probably fall asleep in the early afternoon.

i'm so screwed.

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

2009-08-09T18:29:00.003+08:00

Favourite song of the moment; Amy Winehouse did a great job in jazzing up the classic.
The lyrics have great meaning also.

Underlying meaning: DOUBT?

Enjoy.

Amy Winehouse - Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow

Tonight you're mine completely
You give your love so sweetly
Tonight the light of love is in your eyes
Will you love me tomorrow?

Is this a lasting treasure
Or just a moment's pleasure?
Can I believe the magic of your sighs?
Will you still love me tomorrow?

Tonight with words unspoken
And you say that I'm the only one, the only one, yeah
But will my heart be broken
When the night meets the morning star?

I'd like to know that your love
Is love I can be sure of
So tell me now, cause I won't ask again
Will you still love me tomorrow?
Will you still love me tomorrow?
Yeah

why does the sea rush to shore?

2009-07-30T16:20:00.004+08:00

i am sooooo exhausted.

recently life has been a blur; all i remember is working in one draining flight after another, and rushing to balance family events, friend's invites, spending time and sleep. Of cos everything else comes before my own time and sleep. I am soooo lacking in me-time.

after that horrible dxb/cai flight, i have become so sian lor.

why after so long i still get demotivated so fast?

now everything seems wrong, everything goes wrong.

i need a break.

Sydney later. Til I'm back.

ooooooooooo!

2009-07-22T03:43:00.000+08:00

I'm in love..............

was flipping through a magazine and saw this new watch from Burberry!

didn't have the price, though...should be very expensive lor...haiz. But i think its soooooo nice! Must go see and try the real thing!

i like.....=)

which one's nicer, black or steel?

Latest Purchases

2009-07-22T03:32:00.004+08:00

Just a quick update on my latest toys:

1: Diana

Bought Diana when i was I Hongkong recently! The vintage looking camera and the flash caught my eye! I just had to have it! My pictures didn't come out very nice though.....need more practise......but Diana is sooooo cool!!

2: Panasonic Lumix LX3

Finally got what I was wishing for!! Its a great camera that takes really great shots, but not very flattering on me though....i don't look very nice when I take pictures of myself with this.....so my relationship with Lulu [that's my name for it] is not yet as fantastic as me and my Baby [my 450D!], but i'm sure we'll get there eventually!

3: Popcam

Most recent purchase from Dubai. Thought it was cute so despite not knowing the lomo way yet, i bought it! Haven't gave it a name yet cause its still in the box and we haven't been introduced.

yep....am into playing with weird cameras now! its a new hobby. Heehee!

of course, I bought 6 pairs of shoes today; but that's another story. =)

Where have all the camels gone?

2009-07-16T02:01:00.003+08:00

In dubai now, slacking in my room for the whole day.

The only time i went out was to go to the crew room to take loads of sugar for my tea. Finished a book, finished a movie [P.S I love you; you have to catch it. so nice]....just didnt feel very socialble today.

Felt lonely at first, but i don't anymore...suddenly. after praying, everything became ok, and i suddenly realised that i haven't been writing.

i have been procrastinating my writing. it stopped after hotstuff; i felt it first at my blog, then at oneshift; then my diaries haven't been touched in a long time.

I used to write all the time; when i was happy, when i was sad. I wrote poems when i was younger, which led to lines of depth that described my thoughts and feelings. I copied words of great writers that called out to me, that I could relate to at the particular time and moment. All these were in my many diaries that no one has ever seen. they contained my innermost thoughts and secrets of significant moments of my life that i could not share with anybody.

I have always been a vocal person, someone that talks about feelings and moods, and I don't hold back much. But i was always the strong one, always the one that fights back and the one that can handle what life threw at me. I couldn't let people see how weak I was. But writing gave me an outlet to reveal my insecurities and hurts that no one would ever understand. It took away the pain and recorded happy moments. It made me feel so much better, and made me loook at the situation in another light. Although i maintained secrecy, i always wanted to allow pple to know what i've been through and love the words that has given my comfort all through my life so far.

it also started my fetish with nice notebooks.

this blog was started out of boredom; a need to express as well as indulge in a new technology. But i was stilted, because I still needed to maintain my own right in choosing the information that I wanted to share with certain others.

I always wanted to write. To share my words with the masses, to allow them to reflect and touch them with what I have to say. I loved being in hotstuff, because it was a dream come true for me. Unfortunately, the commercialisation of the industry as well as certain events drained me, and with that, it was gone. The passion, the creativity, the wit; all gone.

I couldn't write anymore.

All that came out, in my blog, in my diaries, were all crap. Something that anyone could do. I used to be able to make people laugh and cry with what I wrote. I couldn't do it anymore. I became lazy and i think i just gave up.

but now, suddenly, I write this. I can feel it coming back. I want to try again.

I want to be Melissa again.

Stay tuned.

Lonely

2009-07-07T05:26:00.004+08:00

Feeling kinda unsettled...and kinda down...

feeling kinda.....lonely.

i need you.

well, off to work.

back to work

2009-07-06T20:56:00.003+08:00

have had a lovely long break that seemed to last forever! Went to bangkok, then hongkong...

But i think i nvr spend enough time with the ones at home. Kinda regret missing FD cos it would have been great being there with the usual suspects....hk wasn't as great as i thought it would be.

I guess i was short of the right company? Somewhere lost? Hmmmm......

Anyway starting work tml early morning....KUL turn out of all things.

Night.

Travelling Frenzy

2009-06-25T00:25:00.002+08:00

am in Johannesburg now.

wonder how's everything going back home? it's tough being so far away everytime.

will be going direct to bangkok when i touchdown on 26th! lots of shopping and some sightseeing [well mostly shopping]!! It's gonna be a great 4 days! i just hope i will remember to bring what i should be bringing cos it would be a rushed packing! gonna be so tired somemore cos no rest after my 10hr flight home....well, last minute plans are the best!

I also have to plan my trip to Hongkong for Cedrick's imprompto birthday celebration. wonder if i have enough time to book my flight and hotel lor. already asked charmaine to check for me if she has the time so save me some time also. but also not confirm i going cos of the H1N1 thingy going on there......haiyo headache.

*

I love making my own decisions without having to ask for permission or fighting to do what I want. Love to make last minute plans without worrying about upsetting anybody or having to have a reason to do what I want to do. Love not having to deal with the insecurity of others.

.....but now, I have to deal with insecurities of my own. i trust, but i doubt....and that's so sad cos the doubt gnaws at my heart and creates a funny feeling inside....i have to learn to trust again.....but its so hard to ignore lor....

haiz.

how lidat?

haiz...

2009-06-21T09:31:00.003+08:00

sorry for the long break..

have had loads of nonsense happening recently...some good, some bad.

here's an update. details to come, maybe:

going to bangkok with a loved one! shopping shopping and more shopping...hope this will be a good trip that brings us closer together. it's a make or break.
had a huge quarrel with yenlin...still sad til now.
cedrick's going to Hong Kong to work for 2yrs lor....feels kinda weird cos he's always there these 10years[so long already right?]; gotta get used to him not being there.
finally made a break and stuck to it. hope this will be for the better for the both of us.

it's funny how suddenly, you jus realise who are all the pple that really care and stick by you no matter what. it feels great to be loved for me and who I am, no matter how fucked up I can be. with me not being ard most of the time, i realise who is the more important pple in my life, and who i miss the most.

there is someone now. but still not sure.
i guess i still need some time before i'm sure.

well, gotta go for flight already. back tonight. til then.

Later.

sorry sorry

2009-05-27T10:29:00.001+08:00

sorry for the long absence....have been really tired recently.

so many things to do lor...

and now i'm sick somemore. plus other things.

promise i'll update soon.

Gossip Girl

2009-05-14T04:55:00.000+08:00

oooooo!!!

another four more episodes of Gossip Girl Season 2 available for streaming!!!!!!

my advice is to start from Season 1 and go all the way.

it's the bee's knees, man.

you didn't get the link from me. =P

all messed up

2009-05-14T04:45:00.002+08:00

as i stepped into my room, i looked around....all i see is a big mess; just like my life now.

thought's a mess, career's a mess, love life's a mess...

sometimes i just wish i had special powers to make all the mess disappear.

*

anyway, news of the day is that Terence has tendered to leave Hotstuff.
which got me wondering, if i had stayed, would i have had the chance to become editor?

seriously speaking, as much fun as I am having now with the travelling, the extra time, and most importantly, the money, i really miss my old job.

miss the launches, miss the gang, miss being in the know, miss rushing for deadlines, miss having my opinion count, miss the satisfaction of seeing your hard work being published every month.

there's no job satisfaction with my job now, only the money at the end of the month.

i miss the Hotstuff gang, the friendly banter, the freedom to sing loudly at the top of my voice in office when i feel like it, to wear what i want, to change my hair color every three months...

i miss having a goal.

with everything that's going on now, i feel so empty inside lor.

what's my purpose?

'round and 'round the mulberry bush

2009-04-29T19:06:00.001+08:00

so confused recently.

so...undecided as to what to do and what's the right move to make.
i know i said that I would nvr regret what i do....but i eat my words.

i am soooo afraid that I would regret the wrong decision.

how how how?!!!?!

Cherry Blossoms, Here I Come!

2009-04-26T18:47:00.002+08:00

Will be flying off tonight to Osaka, the place where I went for my first SNY.

hope to get lots of shopping done, as well as to make full use of my camera cos i heard that its Sakura season!!!

hope the crew will be nice and bring me out cos i really dunno my way in osaka....there's not much time to explore also...cos less than 24hours lor....still thinking wanna bring cargo or not cos my coat is taking up a lot of space and weight lor. dun wan to lug it all the way! how how?!?!

have to weigh my options now.

catch you'all when i'm back!

blog block

2009-04-24T15:26:00.003+08:00

oh no oh no!!!

i'm having writer's block...even before i start anything lor!!

I was supposed to do the first post last week...til now i still havent done it lor....
so busy and the mind is not moving like it should.

i plan to get intoxicated and write tonight in the wee hours of the morning.
Has always worked for me that way.

Bombay Blues

2009-04-13T14:29:00.003+08:00

well...i'm back from bombay. and happy to say i didn't get sick from eating the food there.
so i hereby conclude that Delhi is the problem, not India.

have been really slack recently...having so many days off after flights. have been busy catching up with my friends and pampering myself; indulging in long periods of sleep, doing my nails and hair. feel so lazy. haha. but i really start to enjoy my flights, and anticipate going to the stations. i don't even have to go out, it gives time for much needed sleep and alone time.

i just tend to get melancholic and think nonsense.

am trying to get pictures but my computer doesn't seem to want to read the sd card from my 450d. so that means that if i wan to post my zurich pictures, i have to transfer the pics through my lappie, to my hard disk, and then edit them in in my desktop. Tedious process...so i'll save them for a day when i'm not feeling too lazy.

anyway, i got a new haircut haha. got positive n negative comments though. so i'm still undecided on whether i love it or not. honestly, i do like it, cos its a change, but i dun think it's ME. so hope it grows out soon. and i have to stop myself cutting the stray hairs that drop down....or my whole head will be a fringe.

today i just feel like going to somewhere and relax with a nice book and some tea. thinking of a place now. just afraid that the weather would be against me. been weird weather recently in Singapore i heard.

Later.

sollie ah...

2009-04-02T18:44:00.002+08:00

sorry for the lack of updates!

have had four days off since the dubai/istanbul trip.

was busy going out, doing my nails, doing my hair, going for facial and basically resting.

im sick lor.

packing for auckland tml.

update soon!

最幸福的事 [The Happiest Thing]

2009-03-24T23:16:00.003+08:00

very very nice song...very sad too.... try to watch the video. Enjoy.

Lyrics:

你撐著雨傘　借我那次　

已經足夠我　記得一輩子

我懂後來你不是不堅持　

愛情本來就　沒萬無一失

淚水離開了　你的手指

那不如讓它　流在這信紙

我想女孩子　最貼心的是

讓愛的人選結束的方式

Chorus:

我最幸福的事　當過你的天使

趁鼻酸能掩飾　讓我們像當時擁抱最後一次

最幸福的事　吹蠟燭時你總為我許願的手勢

為摯愛的人　在左邊心口保留位置　

是最幸福的事

可惜愛不是　童話故事　

不能夠永遠　依賴著王子

才慢慢認識只剩兩個字　

我怎麼忍心　為難你解釋

我最幸福的事　當過你的天使

趁鼻酸能掩飾　讓我們像當時擁抱最後一次

最幸福的事　吹蠟燭時你總為我許願的手勢

為摯愛的人　在左邊心口保留位置　

是最幸福的事

那一陣子有你　美的不像現實多高興每一幕都微笑著靜止

我最幸福的事　牽著你的日子

一段愛從開始　直至分開我們都對彼此誠實

最幸福的事　對那片海用力大喊永遠的樣子

想得起的事　那天和你傻笑著認識

是最幸福的事

In Dubai

2009-03-24T05:29:00.002+08:00

Its 1.22am here, 5.29am singapore time.

the crew just left my room, after a cooking session and a Gossip Girl:Season 2 marathon. Nope we didn't finish the show. Now i'm left hanging. haha. It was quite a good drama. interesting.

same old story: A sleeps with B, who is also sleeping with C. A finds out, then B finds out A is sleeping with D, and that A's mother is sleeping with E. Complicated? Yup...but nice show.
[doesn't exactly happens like that, but close]

anyway my room in Angsana Hotel in Dubai is a suite; hence then kitchen, living room and separate bedroom. we hung out in the living room and cooked instant noodles with sausage and eggs. since it was impromptu, we didn't get more food when we were in Emirates Mall [which is HUGE, btw].

planning on french toast tomorrow if we can wake up.

*

call time is 1.25am tomorrow night, where we will be going to Istanbul. Have already made plans to visit the Blue Mosque and Grand Bazaar. Problem is that, its damn cold in Istanbul, about 5-15 Degrees Celsius. I wonder how i'm gonna stand the cold since all i brought for the weather was a jacket and scarf. I forgot my thermal! Thank goodness its only one night.

*

wanted to have a drink but my hotel, unfortunately, is a NON ALCOHOLIC ESTABLISHMENT. Damn. And we were all too lazy to go out, since Gossip Girl got our attention.

*

i'm supposed to be taking this time to think....but i dunno what to think about. i wish i didn't have to make any decision and that the matter would just magically settle on its own. it's so hard. So hard.

*

anyway i am gonna curl up with my book and make myself sleepy.

Still hungry though. But nothing to eat. Should I take an egg from the tray? But i have to wash up. Nah.

Later.

thoughts and more thoughts...

2009-03-13T15:28:00.002+08:00

recently there have been many quarrels and many misunderstandings...

sometimes its kinda tiring to go on.
confusion as to what i should do next.

sometimes the going is good, sometimes bad. its come to a point when i'm numb to the pain.

i wonder; does it come to free will or is it predestined?
God sometimes plays tricks with us.

sometimes i wonder, after so many things, we still forgive each other.

is it meant to be?

all around me, my friends are having problems left and right.
some are familiar, some i hope to God I will never have to go through.

actually when u think back, i have been quite lucky.
i thank God that I have been strong enough to pick myself up after every fall.
or i guess i would have long ago chosen to leave this cruel world.

i wonder, do we create our own problems? or do they really just keep coming on their own?
i guess positive mindset always helps.

*

anyway, i'd probably be starting freelancing at Oneshift.com.
met up with Evan for a chat yesterday, and it was quite a good meeting.

the money's not much, but i was just glad for the oppourtunity to get my brain cells moving.
i have lost my wit and flair, and i really need to get it back!
my spelling's not that fantastic recently either...

let's hope it goes well!

*

well....i guess i have to just sit back and let things happen.
kinda tired to force things already.

*

have to start preparing for flight already....got a Calcutta overnight turn later....gonna be so tired lor...

later.

Disappointment

2009-03-09T18:31:00.004+08:00

all men are bastards.

at least most of the ones that i've had the fortune to meet.

it all seems so familiar.

all this happened before; twice.

i can't forgive or forget.

he is a fucking wuss. always worried about other pple being upset or angry. never handling the situation.

when will i ever be the priority.

i will die old, ugly and alone.

called up

2009-03-06T13:11:00.003+08:00

wah lau...

just when i tot that i would breeze through the second day of my standby, i got woken up by the dreaded number at 10am this morning.

called up for Jakarta turn later at 4pm.

arghhh!!!!

SIGNS

2009-03-04T13:02:00.002+08:00

Where do you find love? If we knew, we would all know where to look.

Sometimes all you need is a sign.

SIGNS -

Watch this. You won't regret it.

Greetings from Zurich!

2009-03-01T22:47:00.004+08:00

Am in Zurich now.

will be leaving this evening for home.

so far this short visit has been rather fufilling. there's just something about Europe that brings you to another world altogether. Everyone is traking their time, no one rushing [just walking quickly to get out of the cold], and to add to that, shops close early; sat they closed at 6, and sunday is the rest day.

i went to central to get the Longchamp Le Pliage bag for my mum [and myself] after much deliberation, and it was CLOSED.....so sad! finally decided top buy then its not open....guess its fate lor...i really wanted to get the LM nylon bag for myself.....!

now i guess i won't be able to get it at all...unless i get another zurich soon...

anyway i haven't really decided on the colour for my mum...which one nicer? they have white and cream too.

this is the one i wanted to get for myself. very unique. blue or nude, you think?

and i think this is quite nice too...

anyway i probably have to wait for while before i can get any one of these... better to check price in Singapore first!

i shall go rest now. so tired...

Later!

slow

2009-02-22T12:16:00.002+08:00

sorry for the lack of updates!

will update later with pictures and commentary!

in the meantime, here's what's going on:

My eyes have healed
I went to Abu Dhabi & went for the desert tour!
I came back from Abu Dhabi
I attended the Porsche World Road Show at Changi Exhibition Centre!
Took lots of pictures!
Went to Brisbane
Back from Brisbane!

kinda short eh? hahah. will elaborate on most of the points soon!

later.

Just For Laughs

2009-02-07T13:14:00.014+08:00

i love this comic.

Visit the site & have a laugh: Least I Could Do

Updates Daily.

Grounded

2009-02-07T12:28:00.002+08:00

I have been grounded since tues cos of my eye.
stuck in office doing office work till monday.

strangely its really relaxing.
the routine and standard timing is a refreshing change from my otherwise fast-paced world.
the people are really nice.

no one cares if your lipstick matches your nail polish.

but i feel i've been around too long.

i can't wait to start flying again.

sick sick

2009-01-31T16:17:00.003+08:00

i've been so sick since i came back from delhi.

let me give you the breakdown:

28th Jan: 2nd Day, CNY

woke up after dozing off despite all the rowdy noise from the family.

felt quesiness in stomach.

went to toilet and vomitted non-stop for almost two hours.

decided to see company doctor.

got a fucking painful jab that was supposed to work immediately but i woke up 4 times in the night to vomit.

29th Jan: 3rd Day, CNY

spent the whole day dragging myself to do the most simplest tasks

whole body very suan and no strength

kept sleeping.

very weak.

yenlin and soon tong still jio ktv....i 有心无力...

30th Jan: 4th Day, CNY

blood vessal in eyes burst after excessive vommitting.

went to take mc to be excused from flying.

medically fit for flying; but not aesthetically fit for flying.

not chio enough.

i scare myself when looking in the mirror lor..

went back to stc to show the company i not bluffing, and got MC til monday, 2nd Feb.

still feel weak.

now i have to see if the redness gets better or not, or else i have to do ground work till it gets better.

sucks.

Happy Chinese New Year

2009-01-27T19:29:00.003+08:00

I'm back from Delhi and sitting alone in my room while the whole family is happily gathering at my house.

i'm tired and cranky.

no one cares that i'm not mingling.

i feel strangely detached.

and alone.

Happy Chinese New Year.

wah lau

2009-01-25T14:01:00.003+08:00

i opened my eyes and heard my phone vibrate. Turning it over revealed the most dreaded number to receive on standby day...

got called up for Delhi lor....seems like i can never get away from that country.

reporting tonight at 0035hrs; back on 27th Jan 1545hrs. sucks man.

notice states that India will be celebrating their Republic Day or something. Might have terrorist attacks lor. so crew have to stay in the hotel and be vigilant about evacuation routes and such.

what a way to start the new year man.

bored

2009-01-24T21:51:00.002+08:00

well, i'm sitting at home in front of the computer, as I have been ever since I woke up today, and suddenly i wonder: why am i home on a saturday night?

as i stare expectantly at my non-ringing iPhone, i sigh in acceptance that no one would call me out for drinks as I have rejected so many invitations recently. i realise it now, a bit too late.

what has become of me? i have friends, but none that would be here now when i want to go out and have a good time. A girl needs to have a chance to dress up and go out to have fun once in a while, but i don't do that anymore. and the worse thing is that i'm not even married yet! But yet, I have shifted into the monotonous lifestyle that many dread.

of cos, i could pick up the phone and call people out, maybe some of the new crew that I have met over these few months; but the thought of having to explain and justify my reasons for going out stops my fingers from pressing the dial.

i have become home-loving before my time; the worse thing is that i'm not really loving it that much. funny thing is that my face and character makes pple think that i'm a super chiongster; which unfortunately, i'm not. whatever am i going to do with me?

the blinding truth looms before my eyes, i have become boring.

i have no life.

Mykii - brasserie . cafe . desserts

2009-01-22T17:54:00.012+08:00

Need a place to chill out with friends? To bring your current love interest? Hanging out with your mistress? Or simply to have good food and drinks in a cool atmosphere?

My friend's wife opened up a great place in Holland Village.

Great food, great ambiance, great place to unwind and just to get away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Its in Holland V, but not IN Holland V. That's the beauty of it.

with a comfy Mediterranean feel, the whites and blues of the cozy cafe invites intimate chats and comfortable gossip.

I went down to catch up with yang and chun kiat.
here's yang, trying to act cool.

TIP: If you need a refreshing drink, try the Iced Lemon Tea. I love it! not the sour plum nonsense you get nowadays; this is real tea. I had three glasses of that. mmmmm...

took a picture with two cuties that were there with their mum!

And it was time to start eating! We were starving! First stop: Ox-Tail Soup.

A tad too spicy for my tastes; but everyone knows that i dun even take pepper...it was so tasty i braved the spice and finished up the soup while gobbling down the generous serving of succulent beef chunks. My father would love it lor.

For the main, I had the Beef Bulgogi Panini.

Wah Lau i tell you hor, the beef just melts in your mouth lor!!!! with the crisp bread enveloping the delicious pan flashed, Korean-spiced beef strips, plus sesame seeds, roasted capsicum and onions, I couldn't get enough of it! Damn shiok! Very korean flavour, i like!

*salivating at the memory*

good food invokes the Singlish in me.

Anyway....
Here are some of the dishes offered in the menu!

Thai Fusion Tamarind Glazed Chicken with Glass Noodle

Seafood Linguine with Laksa Pesto

[Chun Kiat has it whenever his wife allows him to sneak food from the kitchen]

Pissaladiere - an open-faced provencale tart dressed with a roasted capsicums, anchovies, olives and onion jam; for the health junkies.

Mezze Platter - with three delicious dips; for sharing!

For dessert: Mango & Vanilla Custard Trifle - dessert layered with almond sponge, mango chunks spiked with lime zest and lemongrass. Damn nice lor!
You HAVE to check it out.

More information at http://www.mykii.com.sg/

oh and it's pronounced as "mee-kai";

although you can say "my-kee" to irritate chun kiat if you see him. Hahaha!

Opening Hours:

Sun - Thurs : 11.30am - 11pm

Fri - Sat : 11.30am - 1am

see ya there.

a thought...

2009-01-22T16:28:00.004+08:00

is there anything in your life that you would give everything to defend?

Latest Toy

2009-01-19T20:28:00.005+08:00

I have finally bought what I have been lusting after for a while!

I bought a Canon EOS 450D.

Canon EOS 450D - Features

• 12.2 Megapixel CMOS sensor

• Canon’s EOS Integrated Cleaning System

• 3.5 frames per second • 3.0” LCD with Live View shooting

• 9-point wide-area AF system with f/2.8 cross-type centre point

• Picture Style image processing parameters

• DIGIC III image processor

• Digital Photo Professional RAW processing software1

• Compact and Lightweight body

• Fully compatible with all Canon EF and EF-S lenses and EX-series Speedlites

so happy; though the heart still a bit pain.

no more blurred shots with funny coloring; no more pixelated nonsense; no more angry deletion of CMI pics.

excuse me while i make friends with my new toy.

tired..

2009-01-16T18:35:00.002+08:00

i'm back from Beijing.

just woke up after a nap.
met jimmy in the airport for some breakfast; and guess what? we bumped into my batch boy kai & gf!

haven't seen him for such long time! and that no heart bastard never even try to meet up with us lor..

now getting ready to go out.

later!

freezing in beijing

2009-01-15T04:51:00.000+08:00

it's 4.52am in beijing now.

just reached here at 12plus am and its fucking cold here!
last clocked temperature is -8 degrees.

i'm using the free internet in the room.
the only downside is that its accessible only through the keyboard provided, with the TV as the monitor. the keyboard mouse is a pain to use.

anyway, the hotel is really beautiful; the big spacious bathroom, with a king sized bed, an office area, and a lounging sofa, makes it one of the best hotels i've stayed in so far! check it out, the Grand Millenium Beijing. damn chio lor.

i just came back an hour ago from a gathering in the crew room with five others.
we had fun just hanging out and drinking a few beers. it was a bit boring, to admit; but seldom you see crew so on nowadays...we actually wanted to go to the hotel bar but it was closed already; and it is too cold to venture out to any pub. so sad.

well....alex went to choing lor...didn't find out till i called like a zillion times before he picked up....i was so angry lor. still dun trust him on his own leh...maybe cos i'm so far away he can do anything and i probably wun know about it. i dun have his kind of contacts.

do you know his "friend" actually saw me out with another guy? i was out with a girl lor...i can't believe he would still get regular reports as to where i've been spotted. and the bulk of his news isn't even true. so free all these people...

well....i'm waiting for my room service to come...so hungry now.y plan is to sleep late and wake late tml so i will have enough energy for the overnight flight back tomorrow.

actually its really tiring to keep the hours i have to keep nowadays...you have to plan your every move so that it can match with the time that you have to start getting ready for the flight back...i'm really tired, and i get quite lonely and bored sometimes. not surprising i'd rather stay home whenever i'm back..

at least there's something to look forward to when i get back. my batch boy, jimmy, is landing at almost the same time as me on friday! so we have planned to meet inside the terminal to have breakfast! i'm aiming for the thai food, have a craving for pineapple rice.

okay, after writing so much crap, my food isn't here yet.

shall go watch tv till it comes.

later.

Back from Paris

2009-01-08T15:10:00.002+08:00

I'm home.

Paris was awfully cold and i couldn't feel my ears after the wind came.
I experienced my first snowfall though; a light one.

not as I expected, cos it was wet and slushy and it made the roads muddy and slippery.
it wasn't very white after that.

i wanted to do the touristy thing and visit the Eiffel tower but no one brought me there...=(

we ended up doing the touristy thing and went to visit Louis Vuitton.

did i enjoy it? too short and too cold for a verdict.
expensive place though.

Cheers to a better year for all

2009-01-01T16:42:00.010+08:00

The Year 2008 was a long and tedious year for me.

In 2008, I experienced so much more than combined from the previous years of my life.I can feel myself age and mature, as I fall hard and pull myself out of the dirt.

In 2008, I got my degree, and made my parents proud.

In 2008, I joined HOTstuff magazine, and it changed my life. The HOTstuff family gave me much laughter and friendship, I don't know what I would do without anyone of them.

In 2008, I made many acquaintances, that each brought a bit of their own character into my life.

In 2008, I mixed fun into my work, and with the help of friends, work was more enjoyable, no matter how bad the conditions were.

In 2008, I fufilled one of my childhood dreams, and worked hard for it.

In 2008, I experienced many new things, and went to places that not many could say that they have been.

In 2008, I loved and lost, and suffered many disappointments.

In 2008, I made a big move and started living my life.

In 2008, I met a lot of people that flited through, leaving joy in their wake.

In 2008, I made new best friends, as well as rejoiced with the old.

In 2008, I found more of myself.

It wasn't a breeze, but since I got through this year, I will make it for the next.

Happy New Year.

.....here i go again.

2008-12-29T21:05:00.000+08:00

i got called up for beijing tomorrow morning; reporting at 6.45am.

Pick up is at 6am.

at least it disrupted my Columbo turn.

back on 31st night.

.....any more coincidences?

2008-12-29T16:59:00.000+08:00

yesterday i was doing boarding [called up for Jakarta] and as I was helping a female passenger put her cabin bag up, her luggage tag dropped and dangled it front of my face, with big black letters:

"IVANA LIM"

i wonder where I heard that one before.

thanks ah, chun kiat.

Amsterdam!

2008-12-29T15:40:00.008+08:00

For the benefit of those who claim they do not go through Facebook pictures, here are my shots in Amsterdam. =)

canals after canals..

I wanted to iceskate but no kaki...=(

visited the wooden clog factory and windmills!

dun buy anything from there.....bluff my money only!

well, i really loved it, the sights, the view, the feel of old european culture.

highly recommended.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T00:00:00.000+08:00

packing my bags

2008-12-22T16:39:00.005+08:00

Taipei temperature forecast for next three days:

Tue 18°C - 17°C
Wed 20°C - 17°C
Thu 19°C - 17°C

will be rainy, and is the beginning of winter.

should i bring a thicker jacket? cos i'm so afraid of the cold.
or should i bring long sleeves and a jacket; but i dun own a mid-range jacket.
should i bring my new yellow mango cotton trench? but i scared i look too dressed-up, cos have to match with boots.

it's very question-mark weather.

i have no idea what to pack.
and i don't have much time left to decide.

maybe i should just bring a bit of each.

It's starting to feel a bit like Christmas..

2008-12-21T18:24:00.003+08:00

Just back from a Denpasar turn...and its off to Taipei tomorrow night!
will be spending Christmas eve there, and flying back on Christmas Day.

I don't know about you, but I haven't been feeling the Christmas spirit for a while now.
But am still a bit excited about counting down in Taipei, even though i can't spend it with my loved ones. Will be flying there with some of the crew that did the turn today! it was a great flight, and we all worked well together! we clicked and had fun. too bad can't go with the same crew tomorrow...~ but some were quite enthu; said that we should sleep the whole day, and go for the countdown and celebrate til call time. Siao.

i can't wait to go shopping!

Back again.

2008-12-17T23:15:00.005+08:00

I keep "I'm going here" and "i'm back".

tiring.

well, back from Fukuoka. Short trip, but managed to do some Christmas shopping.

got some stuff from agnès b for pressies. so cheap there!

*pic from another blog. will post pics of mine when i get it done.

got this bag charm with turquiose crystals! three of them for me, charmaine and yenlin.

its so gorgeous! and i got a keychain for alex too!

update when i have the strength.

It was a bad flight back. stupid chief.

So Upset....

2008-12-14T14:34:00.002+08:00

I was praying so hard I would get a turn for my standby.....so that I could be there on that day for him...

but this morning, that fateful call made me so upset....

i got called up for Fukoka, and will be back only on that day itself; meaning i will miss the eve and most of the day...

and i had so much planned.

i hate disappointments. =(

2008-12-13T13:32:00.001+08:00

I'm back from Male, Maldives.

you know what?

i forgot my passport and had to go all the way home to get it.

It's My Day

2008-12-09T15:17:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Thanks for all the well wishes and birthday greetings!

2008-12-06T22:49:00.000+08:00

oh, and they are right when they say alcohol is a depressant.

Greetings from Brisbane

2008-12-06T22:41:00.002+08:00

it's 12.42am in Brisbane now.

and i'm blogging cos I managed to get possession of the computer in the crew room.

i'm tired and had four Heinekens, so am a bit slow on the keyboard now.
its saturday and i'm stuck in brisbane with nothing to do but grab free internet access.

the crew is so boring....all they want to do is sleep!

i went out to buy food and i saw this cool looking club with awesome dance music blasting out of the doors. but i had to kuai-ly follow the rest and went back to the room to nurse my beers while watching The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, which is quite a cool show btw.

am a bit intoxicatedly high together with a fucked up keyboard so typing very slow now.

i probably would go out to have a walk in a while to soak up brisbane since i am apparantly friendless cos no ones's msging me on msn.

such a waste to spend saturday night cooped up in a room, isn't it?

God, i feel so alone.

Bimbo Alert

2008-12-05T15:56:00.004+08:00

oh no oh no oh no oh no.....

i was sitting in my dad's stream last night, ready to drive off, turned the ignition, sat and enjoyed the blast of aircon, put it to "drive", released the footbrake and stepped on the accelerator...

....with no response.

after much meddling, I was just about to give up when......

i realised I hadn't started the car.

THIS IS OFFICIALLY THE MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT OF MY SHORT LIFE.

i need to get my brains moving. STAT.

Amsterdam Rocks!

2008-12-03T17:28:00.004+08:00

I Love Amsterdam!!!!

details and pictures to follow soon! promise!