now he's back...but the funny thing is that how we are behaving is like he has never been away at all...i actually planned to be more affectionate, you know, to make up for my late nights and to show him that i missed him while he was away......but.........zilch.....nothing...
i mean, after such a long time away, shouldnt there be more hugs and kisses and touches? isn't it supposed to be like that when u love someone? you have to keep being physically close and keep looking adoringly at the person of your desire? [read too many books liao]......at least show SOME sign of love right?..........but he seemed more interested in sex and meeting up with his friends...that was when i saw true happiness in his eyes. not when he saw me.
Maybe i'm too sensitive?or maybe im expecting too much? or maybe i'm just finding a reason to break it off with him.....he does care about me, and he tries.......i really dunno what i want anymore..
I'm so confused!! aiyo....why cant i just be contented with what i have? not many gals can have a bf that is willing to spend everyday together, and bring her out when she is bored, bring her back to a place that they just came from cos she suddenly decided to buy the blouse that she saw earlier.
i went to the Goddess of Mercy Temple to qiu qian that day....apparantly i "am drunk, but drinks again." I am supposed to "Revert back to my past to avoid calamity"..... i spent much time thinking how to relate the qian to my situation...actually quite zhun leh. but due to my short-term memory, i am unable to tell you the whole thing....cos i forgot like 1/2 hr after i read it.... -_-
I am planning to go again leh......to really sit there and try to understand what God is trying to tell me...as I am very confused now. Thinking why can't i just focus on the good stuff and forget the bad stuff.....then i will be happier...like i have no more choice liao.....si lu yi tiao...
I will never learn to accept or be contented......i always want more, but make myself miserable cos i dun wan to give up what little good that i am having now. Greedy.
note: just read the post over...i sound very luan..and quite boring also hahaha. sorry ah...too many things on my mind liao to be my usual witty self. shall tell u all about it when i qiu my next qian.
1 comment:
Hey,
You are still very young and probably have not really met the ideal one yet. Take all the experience that you have been thru' as a dating experience for you to know exactly what you want and expect from a life time partner. Do remember that what a guy wants from a relationship can differ alot from what a girl wants.
I think that you are doing the right thing by asking so many questions about your current relationship. Deep inside you want to make sure that he is the one for you and that he feels the same way about you. I agree with your friend that you should have a talk with him and understand what he wants out of this relationship. Afterall, marriage is on the cards once your flat is ready. You deserve to know.
The most important thing is that you must be happy, whether you are in a relationship or not. Life is stressful enough so please don't make it worse.
Stranger
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