am at work now, slaving through another production period....
dunno why suddenly feel so empty, so lonely.
it's not the "need-company" kind of lonely, its the "leave-me-alone-well-maybe-yenlin-or-charmaine-only" kind of lonely....
after going through yet another car feature article, and rushing another interview, suddenly, my mind just goes blank and i wonder:
"What am I doing with my life?"
i have great friends who are there for me always, no matter the time, place or scenario. And you wouldn't believe what kinds of scenarios are there....
i have my dream job which i hate and love at the same time. Although the money and hours and management aren't great, but my colleagues take the pain away as we struggle together, making laughter from our exhaustion.
i have no money problems yet.
but i feel so empty inside. so undecided. so unsure of my next move.
the relationships part sucks.
why are my relationships always a failure?
why can't i just close both eyes and not care?
why do i have to care so much, fretting over ever small detail?
why can't i let go of the past and move on with an open mind?
why can't i stop blaming others and myself?
when will i trust again?
why can't everyone just leave me alone....go away........
it just doesn't feel right, and i can't force myself to make it feel right, can I?
i am just not happy. something just feels wrong.
i need a sign.
No comments:
Post a Comment