ever since he has been gone, i seem to be having the time of my life to everyone and anyone who observes me. am i really so desperate for freedom? to the extent that i seem to have gone crazy, coming home late every night?
my frens say i wan freedom, that i have been locked up for too long, that im not ready...still wan to play......i feel that its cos i never get to have this kind of choice as to where i wan to go and who i go out wif and what time i have to be home......spent all my life held in the clutches of my parents; now when they finally let loose a bit, my bf takes over....now its deja vu. the things he says, the things he does, is like my Father.
the funny thing is, i recently met up wif a group of good friends, and we all are stuck in suffocating relationships. Is it really as bad as we put it? or are we just not ready to settle down so early?......i think and know that all the bravado talk is just for show, in the end , we'll just go running back to the ex or get a new relationship; and everything will come back to square one.....especially me.....because i know that i can't survive on my own. I am afraid to be alone.
im afraid no one would want to marry me...my character seems wild and my past is colorful, even if i now am the best wife in the world, any guy would just take me as a temporary thing...they would just wan to have a good lay, not a wife, because of my open-mindedness and my frank nature....meta says im not wife material.....and i know that my image has been tainted in their eyes...but its my own fault....
now im contemplating being single again....but i know that i would never do it. because i dun hate him enough to do it.....and plus the being alone thing and the scared no one wants me thing.....im afraid to fall in love with someone that doesnt love me back..........
relationship sucks......chris said that im feeling this way because im enjoying myself without him around, so i would think that being single has its perks.....but after a while, because of my fear of loneliness, i would start missing having him around again.....so i can only wait and see what i feel when he's back.
i still think its retribution....but all the guys i ever really liked and cared for, never liked me back. am i really destined to be alone?
Is it very stupid if i break up with someone who wants to be with me forever just because he doesn't let me go out?
my frens say i wan freedom, that i have been locked up for too long, that im not ready...still wan to play......i feel that its cos i never get to have this kind of choice as to where i wan to go and who i go out wif and what time i have to be home......spent all my life held in the clutches of my parents; now when they finally let loose a bit, my bf takes over....now its deja vu. the things he says, the things he does, is like my Father.
the funny thing is, i recently met up wif a group of good friends, and we all are stuck in suffocating relationships. Is it really as bad as we put it? or are we just not ready to settle down so early?......i think and know that all the bravado talk is just for show, in the end , we'll just go running back to the ex or get a new relationship; and everything will come back to square one.....especially me.....because i know that i can't survive on my own. I am afraid to be alone.
im afraid no one would want to marry me...my character seems wild and my past is colorful, even if i now am the best wife in the world, any guy would just take me as a temporary thing...they would just wan to have a good lay, not a wife, because of my open-mindedness and my frank nature....meta says im not wife material.....and i know that my image has been tainted in their eyes...but its my own fault....
now im contemplating being single again....but i know that i would never do it. because i dun hate him enough to do it.....and plus the being alone thing and the scared no one wants me thing.....im afraid to fall in love with someone that doesnt love me back..........
relationship sucks......chris said that im feeling this way because im enjoying myself without him around, so i would think that being single has its perks.....but after a while, because of my fear of loneliness, i would start missing having him around again.....so i can only wait and see what i feel when he's back.
i still think its retribution....but all the guys i ever really liked and cared for, never liked me back. am i really destined to be alone?
Is it very stupid if i break up with someone who wants to be with me forever just because he doesn't let me go out?
3 comments:
you're not ready to commit yet that's why when he's away, you feel a sense of freedom.
in every relationship, there must be some form of accountability. you account to him, and he accounts to you. there must be a certain limit and it's up to you both to decide how far you/him wants to account.
of cuz, trust is very important. if there is no trust, then there is really no point since you/him will doubt/suspect.
don't allow what's happening around you to sway your thinking.
you're not alone and you know that. i've always believed that you're still very young and you don't have to worry about not meeting a guy who will want to marry you.
you need to have the confidence that things will work out, if not what happens when you get married to him? if all the time you're going to worry/fear that it's not the right time to settle, then even when you eventually settle down, things will not work out.
it takes both hands to clap. he needs to play his part, and you too. that's why i always feel you both should talk. and if you both can't get things through, talk to a marriage counsellor or something.
you're not alone. and i really think that you're a girl with a good heart. you deserve to be happy .
listen to your heart. try not to think too extremely. in everything, balance is the key.
i believe in you ok? and whatever decisions you make, i'll support you.
you have no self confident at all my dear... have more faith in urself can? start treating urself better maybe things might be better. =)
thanks...
Post a Comment