Friday, August 24, 2007

closing my eyes

i force myself not to think anymore...
so that we can all be happy..
occasionally, it flits in my mind....
are they still contacting? is he still lying to me? is he doing anything behind my back?
i hurt.


i quit my job...
so am actively looking for another now.


i guess, part of me died that day
when he wanted to leave and just end it.
its all my fault and it will always be my fault.

i guess thats why the ache in my heart has lessened..
because i have lost hope
and not because i learn to let go...
or is it?


it doesn't really matter anymore..
even though i still think about it.
there's no point isn't it? to think and make yourself miserable.


i've been sad enough.


so maybe just blindly groping in the dark is better.
cos we are happy now.

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