sorry for the late update

so sorry for not updating.....i have had a lot of things on my mind recently....so didnt really have to mood to say anything..

well, me and the BF are back together....of cos things have not been the same....he was still hung up over that girl....and was constantly meeting her and smsing her when he told he he was with me!

i mean, like if you really want time to rest and think properly, dun tell me that you want to be with me and then still try to choose....one hand hugging me, another hand smsing her....i really dun wan to hate her, but i mean, when people tell you that they already have a girlfriend, please show some basic respect lah, don't keep calling and messaging, are you doing it on purpose?? She should know that if the other girl [me] sees the msgs then will lead to a quarrel right? well...its difficult to have any good thoughts about that bitch. I don't think she is as simple as she seems.....*dark look*

he says he chooses me, but i still can't help being paranoid....i mean, when he was with me, he still do all the things behind my back.....how to trust him?? at least what i did, even though was wrong, but at least i wasn't with him at that time mah.....

well....we are back together.....everything seems ok....but he hasn't said he loved me in a long time.......and whenever i ask him, he evades the question..... am i wrong to want to hear sweet nothings to make mysef happy??? he makes me feel that he is undecided still...that once i turn my back he will go running back to that bitch.....the suspicion is eating away at my very soul and mind.........

but i'm trying to trust him.....to be together trust is very important right? i just hope that he will try to make me feel secure....just like what i am trying very hard to do.....

hmm...so much for the relationship thingy....i'm getting quite sick of thinking about it......its really tiring for the brain...

just one more week and i finish my last assignment! that means i graduate [if i pass] and i have to.....start looking for a full-time job........up till now i really dunno what i want to do....having lost my focus due to the relationship thing....what should i do?

my parents want me to get a highly paid job with a nice-to-hear designation.......

so....any job offers?