I'm finally home.
Having one hell of a bad day......at work, everything sucked; everyone seemed grumpy and I HATE it when people use that "you-owe-me-so-you-have-to-tahan-my-fucked-up-attitude" kind of tone on me...and after going home, I picked a quarrel with the Boyfriend. i'm still thinking is it my fault? or is it his? [of cos i won't admit i'm in the wrong] but some things that he does seems such a waste of effort, time and money....maybe i'm just feeling neglected cos he's doing dunno what with the car EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.......and to add to it, i'm tired and grumpy till the point where i horribly dissect an ant that tried to sneak past my line of vision [for walking on the table without washing feet]
all i want is to for once spend a lovely, relaxing weekend, having meaningful, intellectual, getting-to-know-you-better conversations; instead of bantering over the smallest thing......everything just seems to be going downhill nowadays, not to mention that im cranky and super shag and have no mood for anything except shouting at people and dissolving into tears like the world is going to end.
its either PMS or i need professional help.
what if i really go into depression and break down? will i grow mad and sob like there's no tomorrow? will i commit suicide? all these i've contemplated before whenever life gets nasty. i can't take the pressure and i feel that he's not doing anything to help. i think i just need rest from everything for a while...i am exhausted.
night.
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