Recently I've been thinking about this [ever since the chat wif yenlin and dongli]...and after yesterday's bad quarrel, I've become more confused. He has become from bad to worse...he never used to be so bad tempered......last time he tried to control at least, now he just flares up like nobody's business. And he expects me to know when he is angry and when he is not by looking at his face and mannerism. What does he think i am, a Body Language Expert? I think he wants me to anticipate the reasons for his every mood and treading softly around him when a certain facial muscle twitches or something. I'm going crazy.
Every fucking day, he is angry, showing me his fucked up face and scolding every fly and blade of grass that gets in his way. Hello, the world does NOT belong to you lor. He says I talk at the wrong time, and I have to see his mood, and I irritate him with my talking......he might as well find a dumb person lor! Everyone of you know that I'd DIE if I dun talk, and since im such a witty, entertaining person that always give intelligent remarks, I dun see why I should stop talking and saying what i want when I feel like it.
But every time i argue back...he almost ALWAYS manages to twist the story and it ends up being my fault......
Sometimes I really want to give up...it's like I feel that getting the flat is sooo fast...feel that he's just doing it cos everyone around us is getting married and all and he wants to go with the flow.......everyone feels that i'm not ready[push blame; not my fault]......dongli says im getting pre-wedding jitters....i'm not even getting married yet lor...
Every fucking day, he is angry, showing me his fucked up face and scolding every fly and blade of grass that gets in his way. Hello, the world does NOT belong to you lor. He says I talk at the wrong time, and I have to see his mood, and I irritate him with my talking......he might as well find a dumb person lor! Everyone of you know that I'd DIE if I dun talk, and since im such a witty, entertaining person that always give intelligent remarks, I dun see why I should stop talking and saying what i want when I feel like it.
But every time i argue back...he almost ALWAYS manages to twist the story and it ends up being my fault......
Sometimes I really want to give up...it's like I feel that getting the flat is sooo fast...feel that he's just doing it cos everyone around us is getting married and all and he wants to go with the flow.......everyone feels that i'm not ready[push blame; not my fault]......dongli says im getting pre-wedding jitters....i'm not even getting married yet lor...
Getting the house and going ahead with it means guarantee chop....no running away. i'm not sure if he's the one that I can spend the rest of my life with. Maybe the reality of the situation is hitting me, hard now....and i'm scared...i havent lived life enough......will getting married make it worse? Now we are quarrelling always, will getting married be worse?But I am afraid that if i give up this relationship, I'd be left on the shelf....what if no one wants to marry me........
Charlene and Christine says that I always give in to him, thats why he has taken advantage and takes it for granted...but he always makes it seem that i am not good enough.... is it my fault? or his?
Take yesterday for example: We were quarrelling cos he was angry over the bad traffic at suntec...i mean like, you should know that there would be a jam cos of the IT Fair...........later after much angry silence[and his rantings if how it was my fault for talking when he is in a bad mood] i asked him: "Is there really nothing good about me at all?"
He gave me a "Hmph" and walked away.
My life sucks. -_-
2 comments:
Hey,
Remember that it will be his loss if he keeps on treating you this way. You'll have many guys who would love to know you better.
Stranger
Thanks for trying to pacify me. I needed that.
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