No pictures yet.

Sorry for the lack of updates! I have been so so busy recently that any free time i have is immediately spent sleeping. I have so many pictures to edit and upload but i havent got the chance to do so yet! Like yenlin's bdae, my long-overdue hongkong trip pics, few from outings and all.....haven't been bringing my camera out much cos so little chance to take photos! [plus the camera quite heavy also....-_-]

Anyway, i am also trying very hard to pack up my room before the new year rolls in!! so far i haven't seen any improvement.....and im still buying stuff, many many stuff........even though i have to save money for my next trip: BANGKOK!! going with yenlin, marcus, gladys and daniel. Yup, two couples, im going to be the odd one out, the lightbulb [sharing room with yenlin].....but i think its going to be ok.....I actually wanted to back out from the trip, when i realised that my cash situation is very very bad....but i was the one to suggest to go lor......yenlin cut me off when i hinted that i wanted to back out.........so sad......

i might have to rob someone. haiz.

my cousin in france, Jonathan, might be coming over to look for me!! he hopes that i am free to accompany him shopping, party, etc...i hope too.....he says summer, WHEN THE FUCK IS SUMMER?!?! i replied a long email about there being no seasons in Singapore and i couldnt be bothered to find out when was summer, and could he please indicate the month like his teacher taught him to. We didn't endure all the excruciating years of spelling for nothing you know!!

Anyway i hope he comes over, haven't seen him in 2 years.....he suggested a weekend getaway for us both haha...i think cos he wants to come to singapore for once and not be trapped by our aunties and uncles hahaah. but i think it would be fun to have a short trip with him. looking forward to it!

I shall end with a pic of my two delicious french cousins, Jonathan on the left and Brian on the right. Til next time!

Life is good!

Let's just say I have seen the light.......hahaha

these two days i have reverted back to the old, smiling, cheerful, happy melissa. I feel so fresh, so relaxed. After when the binds finally let go of my suffocating heart, suddenly, the world seems to be such a beautiful place.

I go where i please, do what i want...[except my homework lah....really need to get it on...]...... anywhere i wish, without having to ask permission, to give report, without having to explain why I change my location from here to there...I spent a whole blissful afternoon in east coast reading, all by myself, just doing NOTHING.....i enjoyed every single fucking minute of it.

Then I spent the night playing pool at the pub....it was great.

Later im going rollarblading by myself...haha.....hope i finally learn how to brake.....or you can look forward to a very bruised and battered me by the end of the day.

And on Saturday, ICESKATING!!!! been so long since i skated......too bad charmaine cant make it.....i remember the very last time we went skating......we were panting and all covered in perspiration after only ONE round of speed skate at jurong..........it felt like our legs were going to fall off!! Xiang dang nian ah...4-5 rounds also bo la sar..........we are getting old.....*sob*

Well....i hope my estatic mood lasts.....and not just a mask to cover up my sadness again.....my body is leaving me out of meetings and not telling me what is going on....

Later!

Its just another rainy day

I'm in my lowest period right now; wandering around aimlessly, dunno what to do, where to go, what choice to make.....i want to just run away from everything and pretend that nothing is wrong.....as i always do...but reality keeps forcing me to come to a decision.

I really love him, but i dunno what's stopping me from going back...everytime he touches me, everytime he makes references to our future, i feel so scared, so fan gan...i can't let him touch me, everything he does i get so frustrated, so angry......i just keep pushing him away; leave me alone...he is trying i know....but i'm afraid that it will all come back to square one again.

On the other hand, he, who loves me unconditionally, who gives in to my every whim and every request....i'm happy, but i'm afraid that it might not last. I dun want to hurt again, dun want to break another heart......we seem so unsuitable, but so suitable at the same time.

i choose the easy way out; dun make any choice, just give up everything, and live my own life, like nothing is wrong......

i choose freedom.

i want to do whatever i want, whenever i want. not to have to worry about another's feelings, not to have to report, not to have to ask permission or arrange a premature ending of a potentially good night.

I have friends, so many people who love and care for me. I dun have to be afraid that i will not have anything to do to occupy my time. i'm out almost everyday and every night, and i still haven't met up with all yet...

Yet, I have never felt more lonely.

Last week of work

This is officially my last week of work before I can finally get to stay at home and bum...for a while at least.....i think i have many things to do when i finally get the chance to stay home lor...

1) Finish my assignments: I am terribly overdue with my assignments. got a one week extension [til 12th jan] but till now i haven't even touched it yet....no inspiration....i have to finish it tonight cos tomorrow's the due date....God help me.

2) Play Dota with my brother: i have promised him like a million years ago that i would play it with him when i brought my computer back from the office.....well its at home now....but i havent got the time or mood to start mastering a new strategy game, even if the graphics are superb..

3) Pack my room: This ones a killer....my room is all laden with shopping bags, books, bags, new purchases, and god knows what else......i have no wall or floor left visible. Every available surface or corner is chock full of items, and making my way around my room is only possible by climbing up and down the bed, which is the only clear thing in my room. My wardrobe is overflowing, and clothes are all around the place......I HAVE TO PACK BEFORE NEW YEAR!!

thats about it so far....just thinking about them makes me tired......will update when i think of anymore...

now i have to go back to finding things to do in the office with my cousin's hawk eyes scrutinising every movement i make.

Later.

Where has all the retro gone?

Singapore clubs seriously are not paying enough attention to Retro.

Zouk was highly disappointing. Maybe we were too early.....was almost crooned to sleep with oldies from the time we got there. waited impatiently till 11pm til they finally played some decent dance music. Then i spent the better half of the night cringing at the bad mixes, the sudden changes of song and tempo, the bad timing and of cos, the bad dancing all around me. Thank God the company was great, and that was what made the night bearable.

We seriously need to find more places that play retro, that actually play music that we like...we were hoping for Boney M's remix of "Sunny", but guess the DJ was too busy playing the same old playlist every freaking Wednesday, and trying to mix two songs together without making short awkward pauses. Dedications were pointless. They are not going to fuck care about your preferences when they cant even get their own preferences to sound good. I don't think the DJ would be able to fit it in his carefully planned list.

Anyone know any nice places that play good retro music?

Mambo!

Going Zouk tonight with yenlin and meta!!

Gonna shake my bon bon all night to RETRO!

It's a New Year

Another year has past. Looking back, I feel exhausted. 2006 wasn't exactly one of my best years.

In 2006, I made many new friends and rekindled old friendships. I found out who really cared about me and who were only passing by.

In 2006, I made my first trip without a boyfriend, or family member.

In 2006, I left the person I love.

In 2006, I cried more in a month than I did for the past two years.

In 2006, I got my first bouquet of flowers from him.

In 2006, I realised how much I really wanted to have children.

In 2006, I realised how afraid I was of marriage, and how I was not ready for commitment.

In 2006, I hurt a friend.

In 2006, my clothes couldn't fit anymore.

In 2006, a lot of people got married.

In 2006, a lot of people got pregnant.

In 2006, Jennie welcomed Jared into our lives.

In 2006, I learnt the meaning of courage when she decided to keep the baby and put it up for adoption, because someone needs it more than her.

In 2006, I realised how much my parents really understood me and my need for freedom.

In 2006, I broke someone's heart.

I'm in a miserable state right now. 2007. Yeah.

Happy New Year!

I'm back from HongKong...i'm still nursing my numb feet....i swear my legs are going to fall of soon....

Pictures and commentary to come soon after i have done the usual editing!!!


Happy New Year everyone!!