Monday, August 31, 2009

From Seoul to San Francisco..

Its 5am in San Francisco.
I think i'm seriously jet-lagged cos I seem to be waking up the oddest hours!

well, wasn't really looking forward to another long 4-sector flight but so far its still ok.

Touched down in Seoul on the 28th, and I finally got the chance to try out authentic Korean Bulgogi Beef! It was deeeeeelicious!!! mmmmm....it came raw with onions so you had to sort of bbq it yourself on the hotplate. There was a sort of dip around the corners of the hotplate, so all the gravy was there, and i happily placed all the onions there to sautee them so that they were nice and soft. I just love it, love it!!

After dinner, me and the steward, Siva, went over to another crew joint, Westrock, to have a drink at the bar. What I thought to be a small drink, turned to 4 jugs when my leading steward, Ronnie, walked through the door! We started talking and the crowd came in. A table of angmohs started singing karaoke [good voice, one of them] and in my intoxicated state, I dared a song too....i fucked it up horribly....so paiseh. Finally forced them to go back although they wanted another drink.

I have been drinking too much lately and the sight of alcohol makes my stomach feel weird.


After a super tiring flight to San Francisco, with horrible passengers who refused to sleep and keep asking for food and drinks even though meal service was just completed, I dragged myself to the Thai joint to meet some of the crew for lunch. Was kinda excited cos I haven't been there before so was hoping for a walk-around. We had big plans, to shop and visit the Golden Gate Bridge.


Anyway, after lunch, the girls said they were going shopping, while Siva looked at me and being the alcoholic that he is, asked me if i wanted to get some beers. I chose to go shopping instead......bad choice...

As i happily dragged my tired body to follow the girls, they suddenly all stopped and said to each other, " Ok we see how later!"......the were all seperating!!! I was left pathetically alone, without a clue as to where i was and where i could go. I ended up walking aimlessly with my baby slung ard my neck...trying to find shopping places...



I took a complete wrong turning and found myself in the dangerous part of town, where the African-Americans dominated. I just kept walking and walking, taking in the sights and happenings ard me.

My gut feeling told me that it was the wrong place to be. But i kept walking. I instinctively realised that there were "Safe" sides of the road to be on. If you kept on the opp side, or the safe side, you were ok. I chanced upon two cops questioning an old black couple on the streets cos they were selling cigerettes, asking them if they checked the IDs of the youngsters that bought from them. It was kinda scary when the groups of black youngsters were congregating outside the liquor store or convenience store. It was until i went on the street where there was a Gun Store, then i decided to quickly get out of there.



after that i realised what a dangerous street it was to be on. Apparantly in Frisco, you could hear gunshots at night around our hotel. This is actually a very dangerous place to be in. I could hear police sirens at all times of the night; Wan said that the police are very busy people over here......thank God nothing happened to me.

The next morning, I woke up at 2am....lazing around in my room, the girls called for lunch. We went to the Cheesecake Factory at Macy's! Following them, I realised that I was walking along a completely different path the day before, and that was why I couldn't find any shopping places....all hidden here lor. We had a nice lunch, and went shopping! I spent almost US$150....didn't go sight seeing cos we were all so tired in the end.




*
so now its 5.30am in the morning and I'm awake already.
the girls already have plans to head down to Myeung Dong for shopping when we touch down in Seoul.
I want to eat the bulgogi again!!!!


i am seriously overspending on this trip....howhowhow????

Saturday, August 15, 2009

turning and turning around

i just came back from a Bangalore overnight turn this morning at 6am.
Reported at 6pm last evening.

i did a Jarkarta turn and the horrible Bangkok turn before this.


wah lau soooooo tiring lor...non stop and didnt rest much. my feet are swollen already.





Money very difficult to earn ah. =(

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Robocop

my grandfather is in the hospital.

he had been feeling unwell of late. giddy, headache, nausea...everything he ate he vomitted out.
quite alarming cos he's already in his 80s.

everytime i come back from flight recently he always says he still does not feel well. saw three doctors and still the same.

so a few days ago, he was admitted to hospital. The doctors said his heartbeat is irregular. When i say irregular i mean his heart actually stops beating for a while and starts again. That is what caused the giddyness cos there wasn't enough oxygen in his body.

I asked him if he was pregnant.

Charmaine said cos my grandma wasn't here anymore to quarrel with him and keep him on his nerves. Quarrelling makes the heart beat faster, so it should be able to regulate his blood pressure and makes for a healthy body. Har-dee-har-ha.


well, he just had an operation this morning. Installed a battery in his body, or pace-maker, to keep the heart beating properly.



Daddy says now he's Robocop. -_-



the jokes we make to ease the tension in these situations.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

thinking out loud

well....recently caught alex holding hands with his new gf; the day before still was msging me and saying he still care and all. What nonsense.

surprisingly i didn't feel upset or what....felt a bit sad and more disappointed though.


how can he keep acting like he is so pitiful when he is already in the midst of being with another girl? making me look and feel bad when i keep rejecting his "care" and concern". Like i'm so cruel.


well, after so many years, this is the first time i saw it right in front of my face.

but when i felt nothing, i knew that it was truely over. and i had finally, finally let go.


still, being human, i felt sucky for a while.

*

sometimes, when i'm all alone, i think back on what has happened and the things I have been through while attempting to fight the war of love. True, I have hurt, I have had my heart broken over and over, especally by the ones that i put in the most...but i still find courage to try again and again.

it has come to a point where i wish that I could find peace and stop searching for that perfect person. because, for all i know, he might not even exist. But I have been spoilt and have become jaded over the years, that i DO actually know what I want from my other half. Just that the ones that I'm with have a hard time fufilling what I want, cos they don't know what is it. Much as I proclaim that these factors are the ones I ask for, I do come close to admitting that maybe i really don't know what I want at all.

you see, we all have certain expectations of our partner. and sometimes our partner can't read our minds, and we make noise. That's where the arguement starts; more from frustration than anything else, cos both parties don't really know what they want. but if the partner can read minds, then he/she would be making it a profession instead. so how are we expected to understand the other point of view when our own clouds or judgement.

sometimes, its tiring to try and understand, or to be understanding.


i tell you, much as I hate being alone, I can't help but to wonder if all these relationships are the ones that make me lonely in the first place.

*

i love having someone to care about, who cares about me in the same way.


but i suddenly feel like i need to take a break...






......sometimes, i wouldn't mind going back to being single, just to connect with myself again.



still awake

i'm sooooo tired.

slept for about 20 minutes and woke up at 2plus am. At least i think i slept.

tossed and turned till 4plus and i gave up trying.
was supposed to wake at 5.30am.



got training later...have to do CPR. I think its a cursed subject for me.
the last time i went for my CPR test i was suffering from a hangover, vomitting the whole night.

i had to do the freaking test 5 times before i finally passed.
my pressure was all wrong, and i think if the dummy was a real person, his ribs would have turned into powder from all my colorful variations of pumping on his chest.


i can actually start preparing for class now lor. slowly have my breakfast and tea...and reach there before anyone else. And i will probably fall asleep in the early afternoon.



i'm so screwed.

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

Favourite song of the moment; Amy Winehouse did a great job in jazzing up the classic.
The lyrics have great meaning also.

Underlying meaning: DOUBT?

Enjoy.

Amy Winehouse - Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow

Tonight you're mine completely
You give your love so sweetly
Tonight the light of love is in your eyes
Will you love me tomorrow?

Is this a lasting treasure
Or just a moment's pleasure?
Can I believe the magic of your sighs?
Will you still love me tomorrow?

Tonight with words unspoken
And you say that I'm the only one, the only one, yeah
But will my heart be broken
When the night meets the morning star?

I'd like to know that your love
Is love I can be sure of
So tell me now, cause I won't ask again
Will you still love me tomorrow?
Will you still love me tomorrow?
Yeah