Reflections

Someday, someone is going to walk into your life and make you
realize why it never worked out with anyone else.

A cup of love

there's nothing like a cup of fragrant, sweet tea to cure a depressed night.

Tears In Heaven

Dear Mummy,

I am in Heaven now, sitting on god's lap. He loves me and cries with me; for my heart has been broken. I so wanted to be your little boy. I don't quite understand what has happened. I was so excited when I began realizing my existance.

I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.

Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me. Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.

That same day, the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in. I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me.

The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming, "Mummy, Mummy, help me please; Mummy, help me." Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore. Then the monster started ripping my arms off. It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop.

I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off. Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying. I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me. I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy. Now I couldn't all my dreams were shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all.

I wanted more than anything to be your son. No use now, for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand. And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead. I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone.

The angel took me to god and set me on His lap. He said He loved me, and He was my Father now. Then I was happy. I asked Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion. I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels." I don't know what abortion is; I guess that's the name of the monster. I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little boy.

I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful. It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you. I didn't want to die. Also, Mummy, please watch out for that abortion monster.

Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did. Please be careful.


Love,
Your Baby Boy

" I hand them over to you, My Lord, to keep them warm and safe,
to love them like I couldn't, until the day that we reunite. "
- Anonymous

The Right One

Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you,

for exactly what you are – good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you.

the right person’s still going to think the sunshine shines out of your ass.

that’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.


- juno (2007)