Weak Women

Was having my daily blog dose when i chanced upon this entry in Xiaxue's blog commenting about Weak Women. Click here to read.

I myself, being a weak woman before, after reading this particular entry, felt my brain suddenly jump into overdrive, all sorts of comments, situations just popping into mind, planning protest marches with all women wearing sexy bright pink mini-dresses, carrying big signs shouting "POWER TO WOMEN!" and "DOWN WITH WEAKNESS!", all the while giving come-hither looks to the men watching, making them realise that WE wear the trousers in any relationship and we are free to express ourselves in whatever way we want. The procession will be followed by a line of all the men that have hurt us before by being jerks, linked at the ankles by heavy chains, and a label hung around their necks depicting their crime. They will be placed on display for the public to read their labels, to know what bastards they are, for the passerbys to scorn at their previous "manly antics", at the same time ensuring that they will never get another date again.

Remember all the sacrifices that I did just to make my bf happy, without any sort of appreciation whatsoever. Getting a scolding in front of all his friends when a guy looked at me, with him exclaiming that it was because i was VAIN so make other guys look at me. Throwing away all the clothes that he proclaimed skimpy and "ugly". Enduring the sarcastic remarks he made about me being stupid and lazy. Him going home first cos his place was "nearer" and "along the way", making my way home myself and paying the taxi fare while i was at it. Allowing him to go clubbing with his friends, while he didn't allow me to meet my friends even for a meal. Allowing his "god-sister" to stay over his place cos she had "nowhere else to go", and getting a scolding when i expressed my unhappiness about it.

I was so relieved when i finally managed to break free from the emotions that was holding me back from leaving.

Sometimes I see my friends just allowing their bfs to take control and it seems that they can't do anything for themselves. Playing the part of the luo nu ren...I mean, mutual respect is important, but not to a point where what you wear, what you do and where you go must require permission.

Anything that interferes with food and shopping and ktv cannot be forgiven.

I know, i try to be strong, and not be weak...but sometimes you can't help but give in and just bear it.......we are not aiming for total domination, but at least we need to gain the respect, that we are not to be trifled with and we are not born to sit there and just look pretty and open our legs when they need it.

Let's be strong, girls.

i had dreams for the past two nights. When checked, images in both represented that i had reached a new level in my emotional state. And also that i am too conscious of my appearance, trying too hard to impress others..and that I have a new outlook toward life.

Maybe I am not aware, cos i dunno about having a new outlook, or completion of the hidden, mystery and feminine side of myself. But i know that i am VERY conscious of my appearance.... maybe cos i feel that my appearance is very important to me and i can use it to my advantage, as i feel that my character sucks.

sometimes trying too hard to be witty, to be likeable, enabling others to take advantage of me....i know i know. i just be nice and blind myself to all the criticisms, the jeers, the pretences all around me....but its kind of tiring sometimes to be Ms Nice Girl.

Is it so difficult for you all to like me for me?

Do you all dream every night? I do. Maybe that explains why I am always so tired, no matter how long i slept..too much activity in the brain...More often than not, i'd only remember snatches of the dreams, never the whole thing, which is quite sad, as my dreams are all particularly interesting. I believe that dreams are an escape from the reality that we are forced to face, and images or situations that happen in dreams actually depict what you are longing for, what you lack and what you feel at that point of your life.

Dreams are quite powerful, as only during this unconscious state is your body, mind and spirit connected as one. It's like you are in a very powerful trance.

Since we are on this topic, raise your hands those who have experienced a situation that you seem to have witnessed happening before? This is a peculiar experience that we call déjà vu. The experience of déjà vu is usually accompanied by a compelling sense of familiarity, and also a sense of "eerieness," "strangeness," or "weirdness." The "previous" experience is most frequently attributed to a dream, although in some cases there is a firm sense that the experience "genuinely happened" in the past[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deja_vu]. I believe that we have all, one time or another, experienced this mysterious incident. In my case, due to the fact that my inactive genius brain works overtime every night, providing fascinating images for my viewing, I experience lots of cases of déjà vu as i go through activities in my mundane life.

Conclusion: I have ESP. Which means i can predict the future. Now if only i can find a way to be psychic when i am awake.

Whoops. we seem to have digressed a bit haven't we? Actually I started this post cos I suddenly remembered something from my dream last night.

I was riding a motorcycle. and halfway through riding i had to go up a steep slope. Suddenly i forgot how to ride the bike, and struggled very hard to climb up the hill as i seemed to be sliding backwards. I reved the accelerator and slowly the motor began to go up the slope, but i could feel that the engine was going to give up soon. I tried desperately to change gears, to get to the right gear for going up the slope. All this while, was screaming for the BF to help me as he was nearby. But he ignored me. Full of resentment and panic, i still kept on and managed to get up the slope...

well thats all i remembered. so i did a little search on Dream Moods :

Motorcycle

To see or ride a motorcycle in your dream, symbolizes your desire for freedom and need for adventure. You may be trying to escape from some situation or some other responsibility in your waking life. A motorcycle is also symbolic of raw sexuality.

Hill
To dream that you are climbing a hill, signifies your struggles in achieving a goal. To dream that you are standing on top of a hill, signifies that you have succeeded in your endeavors or that you have now have the resources to complete a task at hand.

So i guess my dream meant that I desire freedom and was trying to escape from a situation?And in the midst of escaping the situation i am struggling to acheive a goal? The BF ignoring me meant that he would be of no help in this struggle? hmmm.......anyone has any other interpretation?

I believe that dreams are a sign from higher powers to tell you something; something that will help you overcome your struggles in life; if you can interpret it correctly.

So had any interesting dreams lately?

I really like this song from Jay Chou's new album. Below is the romanised version that i got from http://jienster.com/ , with hanyu pinyin and english translation. Very sad song with great melody...made me all melancholic.....sobsob.....

still its a great song..

退后 (Tui Hou) [Stepping back]

曲：周杰倫
Qu : Zhou Jie Lun
Music: Jay Chou

詞：宋健彰
Ci: Song Jian Jang
Lyrics: Devon Song

天空灰得像哭过
tian kong hui de xiang ku guo
The sky is so gray that it looks like it just cried

离开你以后
li kai ni yi hou
After leaving you

並沒有更自由
bing mei you gen zi you
(I) did not regain more freedom

酸酸的空氣
suan suan de kong qi
(From) the air

嗅出我们的距离
xiu chu wo men de ju li
(I) smelt our distance

一幕锥心的结局
yi mu zui xin de jie ju
A heart breaking ending

像呼吸般无法停息
xiang hu xi ban wu fa ting xi
is continuous just like breathing

抽屉泛黄的日记
chou ti fan huang de ri ji
The yellowing diary lied in the drawer

榨乾了回憶
zha gan le hui yi
(had) pressed dried [our] memories

那笑容是夏季
na xiao rong shi xia ji
That smile is summer

你我的过去
ni wo de guo qu
Our past

被順時針的忘记
bei shun shi zhen de wang ji
Has been forgotten as time goes by

缺氧过后的爱情
que yang guo hou de ai qing
Love after anoxia (lack of oxygen)

粗心的眼泪是多余
cu xin de yan lei shi duo yu
Careless tears are unnecessary

我知道你我都没有错
wo zhi dao ni wo dou mei you cuo
I know that the fault is not in either one of us

只是忘了怎么退后
zhi shi wang le ze me tui hou
We just forgot how to step back

信誓旦旦给了承诺
xin shi dan dan gei le cheng nuo
We made promises to each other with confidence

却被时间扑了空
que bei shi jian pu le kong
Yet it has been emptied by time

我知道我们都没有错
wo zhi dao wo men dou mei cuo
I know that the fault is not in either one of us

只是放手会比较好过
zhi shi fang shou hui bi jiao hao guo
It’s just that letting go would make things easier

最美的爱情回忆里待續
zui mei de ai qing hui yi li dai xu
The most beautiful love is to be continued in [my] memory

There you go folks... goes to show that Sometimes Love is Not Enough. Sometimes love just fades away and no one can be sure what the real reason is. So many trials and tribulations, ups and downs, happiness and sorrow...all the tiring struggles, forgetting logic and the need to satisfy your ego.....in the end all we have is...memories; and nothing more.


so is it a waste of time?
Would you go through all that you've been through again even though you know the ending?


I would. Because without all those heartbreaking moments, I wouldn't be able to learn and grow; i wouldn't be me.

1980s ISUZU GEMINI TV advertistment

Came across this in mr brown's blog.

this is a TV advertisement of the ISUZU Gemini shown during the 1980s.

Unlike the greatly computer graphic-ed wowwee car stunts in today's movies, all these stunts in the commercial were done LIVE by stunt professionals!

Kids, do NOT try this at home.

i feel dreadful....

waves of nausea, vomitting, sore throat, cough, stomachache, whole body void of strength.....all the symptoms are back......

i want to change my stomach.

had lunch with my brother in jacks place! mmmmmm.....



look alike or not?

bye, girl

Last Friday, my good friend, yenlin, left for Cambodia to work there indefinately. Even though she's coming back on Chinese New Year for a bit, we all couldn't help but be a bit sad when she left..... i mean like, its Cambodia lor......images of hungry children living in dilapadated houses and people going to discos holding fully loaded AKs as accessories........endless reminders of asking her to look on the ground when she walks around to avoid landmines......i really do hope she will be able to take the lifestyle there, and come back if she can't.....

so we met up with dongli, our jie mei, for old times sakes before she flew off...

and ktv with guang and alex after that!

had lots of fun...but every two minutes someone would mention cambodia, then it would all be jokes to cover up the fact that she was leaving....

Friday finally arrived....so we all made our way to the airport...

doing what we did best..hehheh...

and a final group shot..

now we have to wait till Chinese New Year.....but i'd probably go over and visit soon with guang...

i dunno....although me and her don't meet everyday, it just the fact that i know that she's not that near anymore....and giving her a call would cost a hell lot more than usual.

Girl, what would I do without you in Singapore?

i am soooooo tired...... went Zouk wif yenlin and dongli last night, quarrelled with the bf [dun wan to talk about it] slept at 5am and woke up at 6.45am........i think i'm going to faint any moment now...

been really busy with work and schoolwork recently...i feel so tired and everyday all i think about is when i can go home and sleep. i guess the late nights are finally catching up [and age too].

Actually, last night was quite fun.....apart from the quarrel [still dun wan to talk about it], i have a lot of thoughts running through my mind right now. i wanted to write them down, but somehow or rather, i just cant seem to collect them and archive them properly enough to put in nice organised paragraphs. if i did write what i was thinking, no one would understand as each sentance would probably be not linked to the previous one.....that and together with the fact that i only slept for 1 over hour last night....i will soon start to ramble on.......

need. sleep.

noticed the change in layout? well.....suddenly i felt that the pink was too....pink.

and since now my new favourite color is anything green...i think this one looks quite nice, don't you?

have been really stressed up with work, school, and my own wild thoughts. there seems to be a million things to do but either i procrastinate or there just isn't time to do them all at once.

i have to mention. i HATE MY OFFICE LAPTOP. Recently i spent almost 3-4 hours trying to do my work....because of the unbelivably sloowwwwness of the stupid laptop...finally i managed to finish it....tried to save....you know what happened?

IT HUNG...AND SHUT DOWN.........BEFORE I SAVED MY WORK...



i was so pissed lor...


so i decided to bring my new TURBO COMPUTER to work, since i spend most of my time here anyway...spent about two hours cleaning, vaccuming, packing, moving the tables and all... and so i present, my new workstation:



chio right? like doing big business lidat. my arms are still aching.....

recently have been writing in my friendster blog.....realised that i have friends that care, who bother to comment on my post with chim phrases and quotes of encouragement. it all really brightens my day. suddenly life doesn't seem as bleak...even grass looks greener. although my usual wit has sort of deserted me.......

have to stop here.....got tons of work to do...never-ending reports and assignments......later.

weak..

i fainted on saturday....in front of a LOT of people.....i tried to stay conscious, to maintain my image, at least faint somewhere less conspicuious......but its kinda hard to walk gracefully when you're semi-conscious and struggling for breath.as anxious as my friends were, i couldn't help thinking that there would be some that didn't know what was happening and probably were thinking:

"WAH! JIT KOR CHAR BO LIM JIU ZHUI AH!?!"

or something along the same lines......so embarassing, not to mention the night that followed was the worst night of my life. I was in constant, Cannot-take-it pain that made me break out in cold sweat, i couldn't walk straight, couldn't sleep; i was just thinking, just let me die or faint so i don't have to deal with the pain anymore......

but actually, as i was vomitting....i was thinking of how much weight i would lose purging all this waste out.
*pengz*

random rants again

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. -- Dale Carnegie

its been really hectic these few weeks...with school starting and the group project and all. although work has been forgiving, school sucks. the group project will burn up most of my days, weekly group meetings are enjoyable but draining, and the delegation on work to do for the project has me doing the most for the time being. Thank God for understanding and helpful team members, or else sure break down lor.

you see, i made a pact with my classmates that if we managed to do the project together, i will do all the report-writing and they will handle the more technical parts......with an evil grin, i tot i was getting the better end of the deal......but i was wrong!!!! it seems that report writing is like 90% of the whole project lor.......luckily got theophane and isaac to help....*mops sweat*

recently have been having a bit of relationship problems, as you can see from the previous posts.....but now i have sort of bounced back from my depression, although still subject to violent and sudden mood swings. i still think that its cos i dun have enough sleep. thanks to all those who were willing to listen to my endless complaining of what seems to be the same thing over and over again. xie xie ni~ =)

Have been eating lots of good food lately, and have managed stop between my gobbling and taken a few pics.[when i say a few, really a few only] That day, I went with my godparents to the buffet at Novena. VERY SHOIK LOR! there was free flow of Buddha Jump Over the Wall, my current favourite soup [besides ta xia mian soup, which remains my first love]! i sup two bowls before heading to the buffet table to devour whatever they have there. there is sashimi, herbal crocodile soup, muchroom and chicken soup in adorable containers, toger prawns, crayfish, teppanyaki, abalone, cakes, many desserts and even a chocolate fountain....ok....my description like not very tempting.....please forgive me while i re-discover my flair...have lost touch somewhat recently.take a look instead:

sorry for the rough graphics....my handphone camera not very good....

next i want to introduce another favourite, Rocky Master's 9-inch Magarita!

this is like one of the BEST cheese pizzas that i have ever eaten. not to mention that its only $9.90! and its very very nice, and its a very big serving!! u just have to try it.

just thinking about it makes me hungry.....

til next time.

just wandering...

have you ever felt that the person you are with is not the one that you want to be with? no matter how well they are treating you, how much they love you, how much sacrifices they make for you, you still have that empty feeling....and your heart tells you that there is something out there, or someone else, that you would rather be with, someoneelse that you love and someone else that you would be willing to sacrifice your all for?

someone told me once that the one you marry will never be the one that you love most, or the one that loves you most...it will be the one that you can live with. Is that all to it? your lifelong partner is chosen cos they can cook? or they are neat enough? is marriage just a desperate bid to live a normal life, conforming to societial expectations, just to fufil the need for companionship and to eliminate the fear of being lonely?

i want someone that i love, someone that loves me back. someone that i can be happy with; that i am willing to die for, that is willing to exchange his life for me should i be held hostage by terrorists. someone that can understand my need to cry during PMS periods and just hold me and not ask so much. somone who would listen to me when i bitch and whine. someone who would just...hold me and love me unconditionally. not scold me when i decide to jump on the platform and pole-dance, not get irritated when i ask my stream of endless questions, be proud of me when i get complimented, and not try to hide me in the shadows..

i want someone that i will be willing to give up my time for, someone i will learn to cook for, that i will stay awake till the wee hours of the morning to wait for his call no matter how tired i am. someone who i will miss tremendously, that will make me smile when i think of him, someone that i will buy stuff for when i go shopping, that i will worry for when he's sick, that i will be willing to sit by his bed for hours to put a cold towel to his forehead when he is having a fever. someone that i can fuss over even though his injury is just a small cut, someone that i will pray for when i go to the temple. someone that i will conquer my fear for driving in the night to pick him up cos he's drunk, someone that i will dress up for, that i will be interested in learning the use of cold air intake and ECU chip in the car, that i will learn to watch soccer for.


matters of the heart hurt the most, but it is also the one that is the most difficult to solve...i've fallen, and i've dragged myself up, to continue on my journey of heartache, but still i cant let go; i cant keep an open mind, i cant share.....

i have much to learn....in the meantime, i just have to keep hurting.

relationship blues episode 2

now he's back...but the funny thing is that how we are behaving is like he has never been away at all...i actually planned to be more affectionate, you know, to make up for my late nights and to show him that i missed him while he was away......but.........zilch.....nothing...

i mean, after such a long time away, shouldnt there be more hugs and kisses and touches? isn't it supposed to be like that when u love someone? you have to keep being physically close and keep looking adoringly at the person of your desire? [read too many books liao]......at least show SOME sign of love right?..........but he seemed more interested in sex and meeting up with his friends...that was when i saw true happiness in his eyes. not when he saw me.

Maybe i'm too sensitive?or maybe im expecting too much? or maybe i'm just finding a reason to break it off with him.....he does care about me, and he tries.......i really dunno what i want anymore..

I'm so confused!! aiyo....why cant i just be contented with what i have? not many gals can have a bf that is willing to spend everyday together, and bring her out when she is bored, bring her back to a place that they just came from cos she suddenly decided to buy the blouse that she saw earlier.


i went to the Goddess of Mercy Temple to qiu qian that day....apparantly i "am drunk, but drinks again." I am supposed to "Revert back to my past to avoid calamity"..... i spent much time thinking how to relate the qian to my situation...actually quite zhun leh. but due to my short-term memory, i am unable to tell you the whole thing....cos i forgot like 1/2 hr after i read it.... -_-

I am planning to go again leh......to really sit there and try to understand what God is trying to tell me...as I am very confused now. Thinking why can't i just focus on the good stuff and forget the bad stuff.....then i will be happier...like i have no more choice liao.....si lu yi tiao...

I will never learn to accept or be contented......i always want more, but make myself miserable cos i dun wan to give up what little good that i am having now. Greedy.



note: just read the post over...i sound very luan..and quite boring also hahaha. sorry ah...too many things on my mind liao to be my usual witty self. shall tell u all about it when i qiu my next qian.

relationship blues

ever since he has been gone, i seem to be having the time of my life to everyone and anyone who observes me. am i really so desperate for freedom? to the extent that i seem to have gone crazy, coming home late every night?

my frens say i wan freedom, that i have been locked up for too long, that im not ready...still wan to play......i feel that its cos i never get to have this kind of choice as to where i wan to go and who i go out wif and what time i have to be home......spent all my life held in the clutches of my parents; now when they finally let loose a bit, my bf takes over....now its deja vu. the things he says, the things he does, is like my Father.

the funny thing is, i recently met up wif a group of good friends, and we all are stuck in suffocating relationships. Is it really as bad as we put it? or are we just not ready to settle down so early?......i think and know that all the bravado talk is just for show, in the end , we'll just go running back to the ex or get a new relationship; and everything will come back to square one.....especially me.....because i know that i can't survive on my own. I am afraid to be alone.

im afraid no one would want to marry me...my character seems wild and my past is colorful, even if i now am the best wife in the world, any guy would just take me as a temporary thing...they would just wan to have a good lay, not a wife, because of my open-mindedness and my frank nature....meta says im not wife material.....and i know that my image has been tainted in their eyes...but its my own fault....

now im contemplating being single again....but i know that i would never do it. because i dun hate him enough to do it.....and plus the being alone thing and the scared no one wants me thing.....im afraid to fall in love with someone that doesnt love me back..........

relationship sucks......chris said that im feeling this way because im enjoying myself without him around, so i would think that being single has its perks.....but after a while, because of my fear of loneliness, i would start missing having him around again.....so i can only wait and see what i feel when he's back.


i still think its retribution....but all the guys i ever really liked and cared for, never liked me back. am i really destined to be alone?


Is it very stupid if i break up with someone who wants to be with me forever just because he doesn't let me go out?

i'm back!

finally almost done with all my schoolwork! hopefully will get to rest longer this time...

with the BF not around, i'm taking this chance to catch up with all my long-time-no-see friends....not that it makes a lot of difference, cos i have to report strength when i get home, call him at regular intervals [to China, mind you], webcam almost everynight or weekends when im still at home and he hasnt gone out yet.........and he's making a lot of noise whenever i come home late.......i wonder how long i can take it.......its suffocating sometimes.
as i always say, he might as well just lock me up in a room, cut a cat-flap to push food through and come in when he has the need for me...bummer.

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was surfing the net when i came across another webcomic strip:

source from www.downtoearthcomic.com


was going to write a long, intellectual critique about this strip...but i think it kinda explains itself.


Think and reflect, people, think and reflect.

random thoughts

i was at the cafe in bishan park last night......the mosquitos decided to leave me a momento...

now my beautiful feet are horribly disfigured; so much so i have no mood to rant about my gorgeous pedicure.........

What's with all these pests left free to roam the parks and dark corners?they should be banned from taking human blood! Don't they know how much torture their bites can cause others? No consideration whatsoever; ya cos they are too small to get bitten by anything. I kept thinking; what if one of the mosquitos [i'm sure they attacked in swarms] that bit me, had bitten like someone with AIDS or something before me...then i would be an innocent victim of someone else's promiscuiousity!!......

anyone knows what I can apply so as not to leave any scars?

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on a happier note, i finally managed to upload a few pics for your viewing.

my cherries!!

aren't they just the cutest things?


i went to sabrina's ROM yesterday...so naturally i had to take a pic with my dear friend.

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ermm......thats about it for the moment...cos i have to get back to work. i have THREE assignments to rush by this week....and also the balls are arriving this week....dun expect any updates soon.hehe ciaoz.

Just kill me now

Rushing though my assignments nowadays; although i have time at work to do, the forces of nature are against me: i am so tired, brain not functioning properly, computer freaking slow, internet is worse...the list goes on....

i think i am just lazy; plus the factors mentioned above, i have to face it....

i will NEVER get my assignments done.*sob*

i will just keep trying to juggle work and studies unsuccessfully, in the process sacrificing my already stagnant social life in exchange for a piece of paper with crappy grades that will evoke hysterical giggles from my prospective employers.

my life sucks.

disappearing act

so sorry! haven't been in the mood or have the time to write anything....i'm so clogged up with work, school[well...maybe a bit], being lazy, being tired, going out and spending time socialising......

i'm long overdue on the bangkok trip photos, which was like almost 2 months back[hehehe].....will get it up soon, although it kinds of defeats the purpose now...so i'd probably put them up without much narration...

brain a bit woozy now, cos feeling a little under the weather, so expect the following to be uninteresting bits of brief information specially to fill up space till my next bout of creative inspiration.


Updates so far:

I got a new handphone!!! Actually I was aiming it for very long, but Charlene got it first!!hmph.... but i went ahead and bought it anyway.....followed by christine....so now we all have the same phone.....its the Powerpuff Syndrome. We spend so much time together due to the clique that I think even our period comes around the same time. But actually I still feel a bit left out occasionally...maybe still a bit guarded when I talk...so as not to offend.....kinda tiring sometimes you know... will post pics soon.

went shopping and got the sandals I was aiming too! I call them my cherry shoes! also bought three cardigans/bolero cardis......still trying to determine the classification due to the weird lengths.....will post pics soon.

bought a DKNY watch for my godma's birthday......it was so gorgeous, in a bracelet-like form, for $275.

so nice right?? very solid [i just lurvvvee solid watches, with crystals somemore; shiny shiny]. but the ngeow one, after wearing it for 10mins, said it was too heavy and she wanted to change to another watch.......

ta ma de....i spent so long choosing a watch for you and you say you want to change?!?!?! use heart to buy for you.......so hurting.....

I contemplated keeping the watch for myself as I was so in love with it......but it would be such an expensive gift to myself, and on top of that i would have to get another watch for her.........I decided to let DKNY go back to the store...........*sobsob*....i just she bu de spend this kind of money....haiz.

that should be all at the moment. i'm so emotionally affected by the remembrance of DKNY that i just can't go on........Later.

somethings are just not worth waiting for

sorry again for the lack of updates....seeing the difference between the post dates you should get an idea of how busy i am recently.by the time i get home i only want to lie down and sleep...i conk out as soon as my head touches the pillow! which is a vast difference from last time, when i can spend a few hours tossing and turning and thinking of all sorts of crap.

was just thinking of a few sad moments previously....and i realised that no matter how much i have changed [or feel i've changed], part of my character still stubbornly holds on. I still hold on to useless hope and pray that things will turn out differently, but it still follows the same path in the end....so why do we still have that hope that the same situation might take on a different turn? i'm still direct, tactless, impulsive, speak without thinking.........and i still tend to offend people.but its part of who i am, and no matter how terrible and hurting my comment are, i don't mean it that way......its not that i dun phrase it in a better way, i just dunno how. i lose a lot of friends in that fashion,cos i'm just being who i am.

Why do i have to force myself to be someone else when no one does the same for me?


so if you are a friend, understand me. if you are a friend, tell me what u like and dislike about me....i'd appreciate it.